A
male
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anonymous
writes:This is not the rant of a commitment-phobic partner, it's a real and serious question.I plan on getting married. I want to and when I really think about it, I honestly have no genuine idea why. None. We've created this institution called marriage. I don't care about the definition of marriage or understanding what it is. I want to know WHY people WANT to and DESIRE marriage. What advantage(s) does it confer that one cannot get outside marriage? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): Security. It's what women want.(Generalisation)
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (26 August 2009):
 For a lot of people marriage provides stability in their lives. It is a societal acceptance of the bond between two people.
However, I totally understand where you are coming from.
I have many friends who live in a committed relationship with children - yet they arent married. Years ago this would have been a terrible handicap as society would frown on it. These days people hardly bat an eyelid.
Religious people and traditionalists are the biggest exponents of marriage. For instance in my old church (Catholic) if you marry an absolute nutter then get divorced , that's it, you've had your chance and blown it, tough luck.
Needless to say I am a believer in doing what you want to do, if you think marriage is just another form of societal control, believe it in some ways you are right. On the flip side, If you believe it is the ultimate betroval between two people who love each other - who's to argue it isnt.
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female
reader, Lyndora  +, writes (26 August 2009):
My mother who has been married for almost 50 years told me once: Marry someone but then don't stop dating them. I think when people get married they feel like they acquired a goal. Then, like most of our acquisitions, we take them for granted. Never rest on your laurels and take someone for granted...Act as if you could lose them at any moment.
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male
reader, ALLOVERIT +, writes (26 August 2009):
 it's more of a type of instant gratification. a reassurance that, THAT one person is yours and only yours. Also it makes you feel desired. Knowing that some one actually desires you enough to marry you. Knowing That someone actually wants to put up with your crap for the rest of their life....that sounds right.
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A
female
reader, sugar_sugar +, writes (26 August 2009):
 I am in exactly the same boat as you! I'm not a commitment phobe, the thought of spending my life with one person, although daunting at my age is definitely something I want for myself. If someone asks me if I see marriage in my future, I answer yes. I don't know why. I think it's just social conditioning. It's not something I crave, it just seems like something that is required.
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