A
female
age
36-40,
*edupmommyoftwo
writes:why do people get married? just a thought.should a man marry a woman and then do what he feels? is that a valid reason for divorce.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): I am not sure why people get married. These days there is no real need for it. Speaking from a man's point of view it is a very risky enterprise emotionally and financially speaking. Once was enough for me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010): Well it's an old tradition that you're meant to marry the one you love. It shows you're committed to one another/serious about spending your life together. In the olden days it was a must do thing. You could NOT have children without getting married. In fact, they seen it as a huge, huge sin.(depending on the religion). Catholic's used to take this very seriously. People would look down on you, (mainly women) if you were not married and had a child. Some even took their child off them, or took them to a nunnery home. Even their family would disown them!
However, it's obviously very different in this day and age. Getting married is purely your own choice. Some people just can't express how much they love someone, so asking their partner to marry them proves it all. It's just nice, really. It's showing you are VERY seriously with one another, committed. 'What's yours is mine' kind of thing, quite literally. I guess not as many people get married nowadays because of divorce. Women tend to slag men off a lot for not wanting to commit. But to be honest, their the ones who has to give them everything when it comes to divorce, so you have to give that to them.
But yeah, I'd put it down to old tradition. Some people still do it purely through that, where as others just see it as something to prove their love to someone.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (14 July 2010):
 Marriage is basically a non-profit business for the raising of children. Until the 18th century poets got their hands on the concept, the ideal was that you'd get married to someone who was a good match in a practical sense, then naturally fall in love over time. Why do you think all the young love in Shakespeare ends up so poorly?
It's only in the last two hundred years or so that it was considered ideal to fall in love, then marry. Even so, men and women marry for different reasons.
I won't speculate on the many reasons women get married, other than to say that I suspect the reality is somewhat less than romantic.
Men, however, get married because they believe it's what they "should" do at some point. When they get old enough, they tend to marry whoever they're dating at the time. Even guys who marry their high school sweethearts tend to put off marriage until their early- to mid-twenties.
Men are incredibly foolish about this decision. Leaving aside the misandric meat grinder that is divorce, guys marry expecting that their new wife will be just like their girlfriend forever. Usually, the sex life takes a hit, and she starts making demands she never would have made while they were dating. A lot of wives put on weight. Guys get upset, but most don't think there's anything they can do. Worst of all, the couple's decision to have kids is ultimately the woman's; if she allows his input, he calls himself lucky.
So, to some extent, men *ought* to be allowed to do as they wish, so long as they are meeting their obligations and not cheating. The problem is that husbands and wives rarely establish the level of obligation before marriage, and many husbands are hesitant to put restrictions on their wife's behavior. So, in his mind, he's doing nothing wrong and she's being controlling; in her mind, he's ignoring her and she's holding the marriage together.
Legally speaking, most states do not require a valid reason for divorce. "No-fault" divorce basically means that "til death do we part" is a dirty lie. Morally speaking, the man ought to be allowed to do as he likes as long as he's providing for the family and not cheating.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 July 2010):
The idea of marriage is the you essentially enter a commitment to each other, and each other alone. No one else can get in the way, no one else can come between you, and you are both working together to take your lives forward. Clearly, it doesn't work if one partner decides to do what he or she feels like.
If a guy goes into a marriage, he kind of forfeits the right to do what he would like or feels all the time, because the idea is that you should both be working together.
Is it a valid reason for divorce? Sure, if he's not there at all, hurting the woman, neglecting her and not doing as he said he would in those vows.
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