A
male
age
41-50,
*nkblot
writes:Why do nice guys finish last? If so, why?I never appreciated why women go for guys who treat them bad. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, JulietteElise  +, writes (16 February 2007):
 i have never understood it either, and i'm a female! I have heard that some girls who meet nice guys might find them boreing, or that the girl likes him a lot but isnt ready to settle down yet. however, i have always thought this was crazy, since, afterall, if you are with someone who treats you wonderfully and who you love dearly why would you break up with them?? Many other females who date the "bad" buys seem to think that they can "save" them, that they can change them... but.... people will not ever change unless they want to. Other females seem to like the thrill of never knowing what will happen next (eck! not me! give me stability!!!).please don't get too down, there are females who ONLY date good guys, and who want good guys, myself included. In fact, i go out of my way to meet the shy guys because most of the shy people i've found are very sweet, careing, and wonderfull. However, a lot of these good guys who are shy are too shy to make their feelings known to a female, and since they arent intense, etc, females may befriend them but then it gets to the point that they remain friends, and nothing more (something i also find a bit silly because i know someone who i want to date i also want to be a great friend). So please don't give up! there are females out there who arent complete fools, and its with these females that the "nice guy" will be happiest, because they are the "nice" girls.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): Well, I don't think nice guys finish last. In fact, in the end they can come out on top, with time and patience. The nice guys are the ones that get quickly recognized as being ideal for quality, long term relationships. The biggest reason many women never choose the 'nice guy' is mainly due to her own lack of common sense and discernment in choosing a good man, who she wants to have a good quality future with. A lot of women who date bad boys can be very naive. To many of these women, the bad boys seem fun, brash and desirable bur they're too 'blinded' to recognize that these 'bad boys' make lousy husbands, fathers and life partners. These gals simply haven't learned, yet, to discern that true love entails respect, honor and trust. Some discriminate quickly and some never do. It takes some women many tortuous years of dating/marrying a bad guy to realize her bad boy's big, monumental personality change, is not just around the corner. Meanwhile, she keeps allowing him wipe his boots off, on her and the kids..over and over again. There's nothing wrong with the nice guy-it's likely that you have been meeting a lot of women who simply-like to date jerks. Let them have the jerks. My recommendation to you...hold out for the right girl and don't change who you are. You will recognize her when you meet her. If a woman won't date you because you are nice and you do treat women with respect, then it's her loss, isn't it? . Move on to the next one.
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A
female
reader, wvgirl +, writes (16 February 2007):
 1. Some girls have such low esteem that they don't feel they deserve any better.
2. Some are simply afraid to leave the relationship from either fear of retaliation or fear of starting new (believing something is better than nothing).
3. And some girls seem to think that if they date a guy who has problems and "fix" him, then that will prove that they are loveable.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (16 February 2007):
 Its true some girls seem to go back to the ones who treat them bad. It like a woman thats has been hit by her guy, and you think why on earth does she keep going back to him all the time, its ridiculous.
The flip side of that coin is there are alot of woman out there who would give anything for a nice guy to love and treat them like a princess.
Not all woman go for blokes that treat them bad, just a few.
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