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Why do my friend and I sometimes click, but other times it's awkward?

Tagged as: Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 August 2022) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 August 2022)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Sorry this is not a romance question, but rather it's a friendship question.

Why do my friend and I sometimes click, but other times we don't? For instance, we met up yesterday at the pub and had the best time together and clicked really well. We got along like best friends. Because we got along so well, she then invited me over today with her boyfriend and his friend, and when I went round it was a bit awkward and the conversation was forced and we weren't clicking as well. I ended up going home early because it was awkward. Why is this? Is this normal between friends?

Does this mean that we're not really compatible as friends?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2022):

Maybe you just have a little difficulty opening-up and socializing with people you don't know well. You have an established and trusting relationship with her, when others are in the mix, you probably feel self-conscious and unable to relax and be yourself. You can't have the girl-talk you usually have when guys aren't around. I think I know what you mean.

I think you should let your guard down, and just be yourself no matter who happens to tag along with you and your friend. Try to be open-minded and sociable; even when around people you don't know, or don't particularly like that much. You shouldn't feel "awkward," or be selfish with your friend. You should your share friends with ease; and enjoy have a wider social-circle. It makes you a more well-rounded and balanced individual.

Maybe it's also time for you to seek your own romantic-interests; because you may be subconsciously competing with her boyfriend for her time and attention. You want her all to yourself; but that isn't possible when "he" is her mate and top priority.

That extra friend was probably included to give you someone to focus some of your attention on; and make it feel somewhat like a double-date, even if that's not what it really was. She probably thinks you need a boyfriend.

I've never been around anybody that I feel comfortable with 100% of the time. People have quirks and personalities; they are not always the same every-time you're around them. Neither are you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (30 August 2022):

Honeypie agony auntI don't think it means you aren't compatible as friends it just means you two get along well when it's just you two but when more people are tossed in the mix it can feel and be awkward.

But that is what SOCIALIZING is all about.

You can't really judge a friendship on one good and one meeeh experience.

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