| A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Why some middle aged husbands losing their sex drive?Are most marriage lose sex at the middle? What turns man off, and why?
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male
reader, bluesman  +, writes (18 August 2009):
Boredom. Keep a man interested and you will not have a problem (barring any medical causes). There's an old joke about why most married men die before their wives do...the answer is "they want to". As human beings we are all naturally curious. It is satisfying that curiosity that keeps us getting out of bed in the morning. Women defend their right to be "high maintenance" while men defend their right to be adventurers. If either of these are not respected your bed will be a cold and lonely place instead of the smoking hot retreat it should be.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (20 January 2009):
 While my friend "satindesire" adds introspective thoughts about declining desire, I must interject that such has really not been much a problem for me thus far in life (I'm about 60). Oh, I suppose there was some degree of decline during my fifties, but as long as there has been a willing and adventurous partner, my desire did not subside at all. Availability was a factor for me at times, but it had no bearing on "wanting to." A few fairly recent studies have shown, for instance, that many Americans in their 70s and beyond are quite able and willing to get it on. I'll admit that age and physical condition affects stamina and performance, but desire is really not the issue for some of us old geezers. LOL
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (20 January 2009):
I'm going to cheat here and paste my following answer to a previously posted question - but this also applies, at least in part, to your posting.
"One more thought that comes to me is that younger men and women in the early phase of a marriage (first 10 to 15 years) probably do not realize that, almost inevitably, an insidious factor will begin to affect the relationship. It is called FAMILIARITY. It means that all the newness factors have declined, that things have mostly become routine, and unfortunately, the excitement levels have diminished or practically disappeared. It can affect much more than just the sex life. It can ruin some marriages, as I think it did one of mine.
Familiarity is pretty much universal and begins to gel sometime between about the tenth or twentieth year. It has been the topic in jokes, books, songs, movies, cartoons and probably just about every marriage counseling session, even if the term "familiarity" is not mentioned. It is, nevertheless, the root of most marriage problems, in my opinion.
It causes husbands and wives to sometimes stray, looking for that lost excitement; it causes boredom, which is why many guys end up as beer-drinking couch potatoes, and many wives to begin harping about the housework or whatever.
In my opinion, the problem of overcoming or counterbalancing familiarity is main challenge to most couples at some point during their marriages. Some figure out a way to do it, and some obviously do not. You say that you have a great relationship. Good, now work at keeping it that way. Good wishes."
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