A
female
age
41-50,
*inky115
writes:I have been really close friends with a male coworker of mine for seven years. When he was much younger, his girlfriend did some serious damage to his ego. The way he told me was like a joke though when we first met. Over the summer, we grew very close. We have never been intimate, but you could tell there were feelings. Next thing I knew he was always talking about marriage. He told my friend he wanted to get married as soon as he finished school. So that kind of sent my brain going crazy because I have relationship paranoia of my own. Well one day at work, he got jealous about something very minor and seemed to keep getting jealous over people who were mutual friends of ours. Then he went to avoiding me BIG TIME. That lasted about six weeks, but it got touch and go for awhile. Well last week, I couldn't take it anymore and I sent him a text saying that if he hadn't figured out I was his friend in all this time that there must not be much left in the friendship. Well he called me about five minutes later and told me he had a girlfriend and it was making "her" mad that I kept calling and texting him. Now I have repeatedly asked him if he didn't want me to do that and he didn't say no. I have also point blank asked him if he had another woman he loved more than me and he told me no. Instead he spent these six weeks telling me I didn't show him respect, and I took him for granted, and he didn't see me as a girlfriend. So when he said that, I said why are you just now telling me this? Why did you try and make this my fault or tell me that when I asked you? He said to me, I'm gonna still be your friend and come kick it with you but when you call or txt just leave one msg and let me get back with you when I get a chance. So I said NO, we've been friends for 7 yrs, you claimed you wanted me to respect you, but you were not willing to show me that respect in return. I am not going to call and text you anymore. In return I got cussed out and told if I ever call him again, he will call the law on me for harassment. Very unproportional for the (1) phone call I made when he had called me first. I haven't contacted him since but we work together. Now he has adjusted his schedule and I have come to find out the GF works there too and many of my coworkers have been hiding this from me for a reason I don't know. He has had a GF before and we never had these issues. And why has he exaggerated how single he was to me for the last few months? I can't be his friend anymore and I feel rejected, embarassed, disrespected, and betrayed simply for letting myself fall in love again with someone I was "sure" loved me back. But he met this girl and instantly now they are dating. It makes me sick and I don't know how to keep going back to the job. Why did this man stay in my life so long if he didn't care enough to not hurt me by being dishonest?
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male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (2 February 2010):
 You will find in life that many men do not want to get to close to a woman as a friend. Sometimes when they do it is for the reasons that when they are seen with women it makes them look more attractive. I believe that's what's happened in this instance. However, he has been very strange to just up and leave you six weeks ago. It is somewhT cruel and makes me wonder if you did something to upset hom in the past or not. that's what his actions are basically saying.
Men are also educated by many women and put under alot of pressure that when you are friends you don't get none if you know what I mean. Some men even feel unattractive when women just want to be friends, yet it upsets the woman when he finds a new love in his life.
Thus sounds very messy can you speak to his superior about this? and let him/her know whY happened ensuring it's kept strictly confidential! to give you peace of mind, it may be worth looking for another job now incase things get worse or if you have no superior or human resouces section available.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 February 2010):
This is about his girlfriend knowing he likes you. She has asked him to cut contact, and he feels he has to because his girlfriend is very worried he is going to cheat. I know you're very hurt, but this is a situation you need to back away from. Let's face it, he wasn't even honest to you.
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (2 February 2010):
 This is definitely the girlfriend wanting your friend to cut contact wih you because it makes her feel uneasy. I know you are upset but i would cease contact with him and by that I mean you ringing him. If he rings you that is ok but I wouldn't call him anymore. I know you have been friends for years but there are feelings there and it is probably driving the g/f crazy. Your friend may also like the fact two women are almost fighting over him. Withdraw for now and just watch the scene play out.
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