A
female
age
36-40,
*shco
writes:Last August I befriended this guy. We remained friends until December, that's when we both admitted they we were attracted to each other and decided to see where things lead too. The thing he is bisexual, I have no problems with this because I am an open-minded person and even though I am not bi I am however bi-curious.Anyways, earlier tonight we were at my place he was watching tv, and I was on my computer because I was deleting my account to a site that I was on. (It was not a dating site just in case you were wondering.) I hadn't used the site in a year or so, so I figured I should delete my account and also the site was shutting down anyways but had the option of saving what you had posted. I noticed I had a few messages on the site and just decided to check them out, in order to view the messages you have to accept the invite or whatever. So this one I accepted well....... some guy had a pic of his "junk" attached to the message!!! I forgot myself and said out loud "Jesus f**king Christ!" Yup totally surprised at what I was seeing. My boyfriend looks at my screen and says "If I had known any better I would ask if you were sexing this guy but seeing as how he message you first there is no reason for me to get mad. However I wouldn't mind having a piece of that." I didn't get mad instead I made a joke and said "I'm tempted to send him a message saying "not interested. But my boyfriend is." just to see if I get a reply or not." My boyfriend just called me a smartass and went back to watching tv.My question is should I be worried? I guess I am being slightly insecure and I'm never insecure. But maybe because he has admitted that I'm the only female he has ever been attracted to maybe deep down I am wondering if I'm going to be good enough because I don't have a d**k!BTW he is slightly older than myself. And yes I know I'm taking a huge risk by being with him, but I like taking risks.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 April 2016):
 I am sensing that you are insecure because you are worried about getting intimate with him, and off course you would be if he has never been with a woman before, I can see why you are worried, and why you might feel that you won't satisfy him.
Before you both get physical I think you should talk to him about how you feel and how insecure you are at the moment about being the only girl he has been with, allow him to show you that he cares and that he wants you. At the end of the day he has choose you, it should not matter what sex you are, he is obviously attracted to you if he wants to be with you and that is all that should matter.
A
female
reader, Ashco +, writes (21 April 2016):
Ashco is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI was just saying what was said to me. I didn't agree with what they said, I told them it was the 21st century and to mind their own business.
I'll admit that my worry was misplaced. It was never really about the comment he said.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (21 April 2016):
 I am a bisexual woman. I am married to a man. I have not been with another person since we became committed. We will be married for 4 years this year.
I have not been with a woman since December 2011. I have not been with another man since then either.
I am still bisexual I just have forsaken all others. male and female to be with the partner i want.
I still will look at others and find them attractive. I still think about being with women when I have "alone time" so to speak...does NOT mean I will cheat on my partner.
He btw would be fine if I found a woman to be with (with his advanced knowledge and permission) I choose not to.
Just because we are bisexual does not mean we are not committed or faithful to the right person.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 April 2016):
 That's a lie about bisexuals, and really offensive too. So just because I am a bisexual, Im supposed to not be able to be faithful? What if someone said that about you, that just because you're a woman you can't keep your pants on and will cheat on everyone.
I bet you wouldn't think it was okay to be told such things if they were said about you. And to even AGREE with such lies, especially when you are dating a bisexual man yourself?! I really do hope your boyfriend never hears this. If a boyfriend of mine wrote what you just wrote, that he "knew he was taking a risk being with me because I am likely to cheat", you know what I would do? I would dump him.
Im pretty sure you wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who thinks of you as a risk, and I really don't think that you can excuse yourself by saying that "everyone else says this". You need to use your own brain and think for yourself. You are an adult.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (21 April 2016):
I found this excellent how-to guide. Read it!
http://www.wikihow.com/Date-a-Bisexual-Person
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A
female
reader, Ashco +, writes (21 April 2016):
Ashco is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt seems as if everyone thinks its about me not trust issues, which it isn't.To chigirl i'm sorry if my question offended you. The risk I was taking about was him possible cheat on me. I figured if people where I live was saying things to me about how can I date someone that likes both genders and be okay with it, I just thought people on here would say the same thing as well. I guess I should have chosen my words carefully. As for the message thing, like I said in order to read the messages on the website I have to accept them first, its not like I knew that was going to be attached to the message, I don't have a fr*cking crystal ball nor was there a big neon sign saying "I've attached a picture of my d**k to this message."I've been running on vey little sleep for the past month so the more I think about it, the more I realized that maybe I over thought about his comment and that isn't why i'm worried I guess I'm more worried over the fact that I may not about to satisfy him whenever we get physical.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (20 April 2016):
BTW, what "risks" are you taking being with him, exactly? Please, answer me on that one, Im dying to know. Because Im bisexual too, just curious to hear what sort of risk Im putting my partner through, and what sort of warning label I should stamp on my forehead. Looking forward to hearing your answer, and I will make it my duty to inform everyone I should date from now on about this risk involved...
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (20 April 2016):
... No, you should not be worried. Im a bit shocked that you even felt the need to ask this question.
What, just because he is bisexual you think he must want to jump on every dick he sees? Where did your "open-minded person" go?
If anything HE is the one who should be worried about you accepting requests from guys who send you pictures of their dicks.
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A
female
reader, Ashco +, writes (20 April 2016):
Ashco is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know he has self control. When we met he was with a guy, had been with him for a few years before he ended things because his now ex bf had cheated on him. When we started dating he told me that there was another reason why he had broken it off with his ex was because he was feeling an attraction for me, but kept it strictly friends between us because he wasn't going to cheat on his ex. (We got together 2 months maybe after his relationship ended, so I know i'm not a rebound.)
I guess its like I said that deep down I feel slightly insecure but only due to the fact i'm going to be the first female has slept with, which we haven't yet.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (20 April 2016):
I think he meant it as a joke, he probably thought you would laugh. I don't think you should read to much in to this. If you are feeling insecure talk to him and hopefully he can reassure you. Just because he likes both sexes does not mean he will be missing being with a man, if he is in a relationship with you then it is you he wants. Try and remember that.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 April 2016):
 Being bi-sexual doesn't mean they can't keep it in their pants. It just means that they find BOTH female and males sexually attractive.
Being bi-sexual doesn't mean they have no self-control.
If someone uses being bi-sexual as an excuse to NOT be faithful they are full of crap.
IF you BF wanted to be with a man, do you think he would have started dating you? My guess is no.
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