A
female
age
,
*harimartin
writes:Hi, I have a question which may be relevant in today's world. I have done extensive dating in the Internet world and find that men can have the time of their lives with a wonderful gal, date them for a long time, act as tho' they adore them and then walk away for no apparent reason. They go to the island of lost men. Why is this so prevalent in these times\? Gals can't count on them and become confused by their behavior and wonder if they did anything unknowingly. This is a problem of today and it leaves us perplexed, frustrated and even depressed. It didn't happen "in the old days" and why is it happening now? I would look forward to your responses to this ongoing vexation. Sincerely, Daisy Mae
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female
reader, sharimartin +, writes (25 December 2015):
sharimartin is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi and thanks for your responses. In regards to the now 125 phone conversations and an additional 3 weeks of talking to this "sick" guy, he ultimately contacted me on the morning of our get-together to say he couldn't make it and I haven't heard from him since (its been 2 weeks). Am I surprised, no. He is simply immature and irresponsible as this was all his idea of getting together. I will subsequently enforce my original premise of never continuing a phone relationship with someone who can't or won't deliver with a meeting in short order. Most of us don't have or shouldn't have the emotional resources to deal with such an ingrate. Happy Holidays to all and a Wonderful and Prosperous New Year!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2015): I agree up to a point with BrownWolf. I think that it has gotten worse simply because younger generations stay immature longer. They reach adulthood, if ever, later and later. They are careless and everything is a game for them. They stay longer living with their parents. They play video games as they did when they were kids. The only difference is that they can legally drink, not that it is a benefit.
Women are worse off because we age differently than men. Because society puts more pressure on us. Because we are not only we not equal but we are treated as inferior.
Women can live that kind of devil may care life for a shorter period of time. Even if we do not want children, our "shelf-life" is shorter. Our biology makes us grow up as we grow old. Men can stay kids even at 50. And the world is just a big candy shop.
When everything is accessible nothing has any value.
Not all men act this way. Internet dating has made even more everything less real and therefore with less consequences. It used to be harder to toss someone aside simply because you mostly had to look in his eyes once in a while. Now you just ignore him or send him a break up message at best. Easy.
What is worse, more and more people accept this behavior. It's all in the game.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2015): There is no way any guy would get off that easy with me without an "exit interview."
They OWE you that much after having used you for however many years.
So what I would do is be relentless and contact him relentlessly until I get him to sit down and talk to me face to face and I get to ask him all the questions I want; say all the things I want to say. And when I am satisfied I will let him know.
Nobody should get away with so little decency.
So I would probably make him feel like crap during that final conversation and he would deserve it.
BUT oh how I would feel so much better!!
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (22 December 2015):
This is not a today thing in the world of dating. This has been going on for years.
Most movies and magazines (Media) tells us it is a good thing to just go out and have sex. As they say it "live life to the fullest". But what does that mean??? Young people heads have been pumped full of this saying "Screw the rules, you only have one life to live". So basically, do whatever you want with no string attached.
Which comes down to...Why settle down with one woman for the rest of your life, when so many out there are offering up sex with no strings.
If every man knew they had to marry a woman to have sex, where do you think the men would be??? In their homes right next to their wives, trying to get lucky....But why stay with one woman when all men have to do is go to a bar, get a woman drunk, and TADAAA!!! SEX.
It's no longer men alone...Women have now become just like the men, with the mind set of "if they can do it, why can't we do it to". We live in a world of Friends with Benefits...How is a good woman, looking for a long term relationship suppose to keep up with that??? Today...sex is used to get a man...not get a wife to have all the sex you need.
How does a good loving woman keep up with porn, and websites like Ashley Madison??? So you see...it's not the men...it's world making it easy for both men and women to get what they want, without commitment.
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