A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When I'm out i meet many guys so i get a lot of guy attention. But recently every time i leave to go home, on the journey back i think about this guy who i would rather be with. As in I would rather be in the club with him, or just hang out with him instead of clubbing. Which also happens some other times at random places i think about how it'd be great if we were together here. And what makes this completely ridiculous and strange, is that i don't know the guy!? Never even spoken to him, so i have no idea what he is like? He works at my work place and there is this attraction and tension between us. We know we are attracted to each other, just both too shy to do anything about it. Anyways, that put aside. I don't get why i would be thinking these things about a guy i don't know anything about? Why would i want to be with him out of all the guys i have met, who i have actually spoken too! It doesn't make any sense!?........
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2011): You probably enjoy the mystery of him and are curious... so you think and fantasize. I like this post lol. Yeah ask him out. But not for booze as suggested below. That could give him the wrong impression of you. Take the initiative here. I think its worth it! Good luck :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011): I do the same thing...why would anyone fantasize about a guy you know little about or even might be inaccessible? Because they are a convenient fixture to give your imagination total free range. You know just enough to be turned on by the thought of him, but you’re just ignorant enough to let your personal desire fills in the blanks.
In a way, I suppose daydreaming like this does serve a purpose. Since you are the one filling in the blanks, you are in a sense dreaming up a wish list of scenarios and relationship dynamics that you want. It’s a worthwhile exercise. But, ultimately your fantasies tells far more about what YOU want rather than anything about this guy in particular. In that regard, I think fantasy and imagination are really important muscles that deserve exercise and I think people should pay more attention to them.
The drawback of daydreaming about someone too much is that you may start confusing your fantasy version with the actual person...and if they don't match up in reality, you might be disappointed...in fact far more disappointed than if a person you knew well did something out of character or unexpected. I’ve been there too.
You seem pretty conscious of all this though, so it might be a good moment to take the risk of getting to know him. Why not as him out for a drink?
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