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Why do I want my ex wife around when I'm out and flirting?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 February 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 17 March 2010)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I feel so bad for my ex. We had a marriage for 6 years, and recently got divorced. I'm living with her till I get a job and can move out, we are trying to be friends, it's working pretty well, but she's noticed that I'm never home. Not only do my friends feel so much more at ease that they can finally hang out with me, JUST ME, no BS, but I'm also on a heavy pursuit of having fun with girls again. So like I said, I'm never home, and I think what it comes down to is she's an introvert and I'm an extrovert, and this caused us problems in the past, especially with her feeling left out because she DOESN'T MAKE ANY FRIENDS OF HER OWN, EVER, but now it's causing problems again because now she wants to hang out when I leave again, and why do I want her around when I'm out and flirting? She's just so lonely and bores me to death a lot of the time, but she's a great person deep down. As a friend I do wish I could help her, but should I just continue attempting apathy towards it?

View related questions: divorce, flirt, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

so i'm still living with her, haven't been able to find a job, and my father just died, my mom is far away out of state and poor, so it's kind of like i don't have anywhere to go until i have a job so i can get a place, but she's buying all my food. i feel really trapped. i'm not eligible for food stamps and stuff because i live with her, and she has a job. we've kept having sex, it's almost like i'm having sex with her for rent it feels like. so all of my attempts to not ruin the friendship are leading her on?

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (9 February 2010):

Miamine agony auntYou and her are finnished. I know this is hurting her, but do not change the way you behave. It's brutal, quick and nasty. It helps her to get the message that you have moved on and you want out of her life. Hangout with her? NO!!! What for, you got better things to do than stay at home and get bored. She'll eventually understand if you continue acting like this. She'll know it's not because your mean and you don't like her, but you want different things from her and your actually happier now that you are free.

PS: MOVE OUT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.. DON'T SLEEP WITH HER AND DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR HER... pity and consideration can come when you leave, right now, you need to make sure that she knows there is no hope of getting you back. You can be friends again when your in your own space.

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