A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy in high school (grade 10) and fell in love a couple days into the friendship. He had a girlfriend but he flirted with me and we became best friends throughout all of high school. I never had the guts at the time to tell him how I felt. There were a couple of instances when we would kiss but I did not want it to go farther because I was a virgin at the time and wanted to know there was commitment there before I "gave it up". So to him it might have seemed that I was turning him down. One day he (lets call him BOB, that is NOT his real name) his best (male) friend and myself went out drinking. We all got retardedly smashed. Bob's ex-girlfriend came around and ended up going home with him. I was incredibly upset by this. His best friend lived in the same area I did, so we shared a taxi home. Though I don't remember entirely what happened his friend took advantage of me and took my virginity that night.Bob and I weren't the same after that. I never talked to him about it because I thought it was my fault.The next event that changed things was a trip to an amusement park island. Bob, myself and his best friend had sex on the beach. (And I have to admit, it was a good experience) Before that happened Bob and I were flirting like crazy!After we got back to Bob's house he and I had sex several more times, as if we finally got to do what we had both fantasized about. (at least that is how I felt).Bob and his best friend went away to travel. While I also travelled but to a different country. When I got back I found out that Bob was dating a person that I though was a friend. I decided to tell him how I felt. So, (this is while he was still with his girlfriend) after drinking a bit and then fooling around, with tears in my eyes I finally told him that I loved him. (this was four or five years after we had met) He said that he didn't feel the same way, but asked if I would like to stay at his place for a week. (we now lived in different cities) I decided not to and left his bed early the next morning.I though this would give me closure but it did not. About a year or two later I got in contact with him again and went on a trip to his area. (about six or seven years after we met)We were best friends again, then a couple days later we slept together. We had many conversations and I told him I loved him again, and again he said that he only wants to be friends. So once again, I left.Now, to my question. Why do I still love this man? I still think about him and dream about him. I have tried to find closure on more than one occasion. I have tried to move on but I think about him no matter who I'm with. And I still feel the same way. Should I try again to push him out of my life? Or should I try to be friends with him even though I am hopelessly in Love? Is there hope for us?
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best friend, ex girlfriend, fell in love, flirt, move on Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys, I think you might be right.
A
female
reader, alymarshall  +, writes (8 January 2008):
 i think for a start love you need to stop having sex with him because he is using you and its hurting you even more second i think you should just let things lie for a while keep your distence but keep in touch try going out more getting to know more people u soon will forget about the love for him when you met someone else who wants you as much as you want them
hope this helps good luck x x x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): He is using you for sex on a plate. Wise up and find another man.
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