A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so please bare with me it's kind of long. I am a gamer chick who loves to play role playing games and live action role play "Larp" and when I first started back in July 20, 2010 I met up with a guy who was older than me by about 12 years. Well, on the second day of meeting him we started to hit it off really well.We would go to his house mostly for sexual fun since anytime that we wanted to go anywhere I had to drive since he lost his license due to tickets. Normally just to chat with him. As time progress I started to feel deep feelings for him and he starts to grow distant. I gave him my virginity and he was my first love. Well fast forward to early Sept he writes on his face book that he's in love. I see this and wrote, without naming any names Was he scared to tell me? Well, turns out this was what he was waiting for so he cut ties with me and had a no contact est. He broke up with me saying "this is what you wanted and decided so good luck with your life" Well, as you can believe it I was devistated. Not only that but within 2 days he changed his Fb from single to in a relationship. When I saw this I was heart broken. I also got really angry about how he could just move on. So what I did next was really stupid. I asked a friend out to the movies and we just hit it off really well. At the end of the movie we both hugged and then he just kissed me. We continued to see eachother and then in a couple of days he asked to go steady. I said yes and we have been going out ever since. This guy is great, he takes me out, when I need him he's there, he doesn't have a job but still offers to buy dinner, he's romantic and he's younger then me by about 3 years. I usaually text him in the morning just to say "good morning" and he always calls to ask how my day went.(in a couple of cases when I had a bad day or when we fought he would always gets me lunch and holds me til I felt better.) We've actually gone out on the town together.(although when we do this he picks the restaurant)The only problem is that my mother doesn't like him. At all.Well, time rolls on and I start to miss the first guy. This causes a problem with the second guy cause he doesn't like me to talk to my ex at all. This Causes alot of stress since I never had the closure I wanted or what I felt like I deserved. In the back of my mind I wondered what was wrong with me that he left. Once in a while I try to contact the guy and my new BF gets extremely angry with this; he throws it back in my face but other then that we haven't had an issue with it. On christmas he (the ex) has a heart attack and I send him a get well card. Well, the ex has moved back to his home town with his girlfriend who is now pregant and I don't think I will ever get the closure I will need. The funny thing is I learn about his new baby when my Bf brought it up on the 6 month annversity of going steady. (I find it Ironic since that he actually threaten to break up with me if I don't stop trying to contact him or talking about him) I understand that he will never talk to me no matter what but it hurts double since he's friends with everyone but me on FB and in real life. Heres the funny thing, he never told anyone that he moved back so when he left to go back home no one knew. He hasn't contacted anyone, he changed his phone number and just gave up on his own business. When he did have the heart attack everyone was worried sick about him and he wouldn't even let everyone know he's ok. Only when I contacted his GF did he finally say (I'm not coming back) and the only time he started talk was when He found out he is having a baby. The question is, is there anyway to make myself feel better without contacting him? Why do I have strong feelings for him still? What are the ways to feel better and to stop thinking about him? Should I congratulate him on his new kid? And am I being manipulated by my new Bf? When is it too late for closure? Should I break it off with my new BF? and finally, will he do the same thing to her like he did to me?
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (23 March 2011):
 hi
to get over your ex i think you should make a list of all the nasty low down things he did and his bad points.
your current boyfriend seems like a re-bound relationship which you entered into hoping it would cure the hurt the felt about your ex leaving you.
time is a healer. but not while you continue to think about your ex and puzzle over him. you need to accept that it is over. you need to ask yourself is he actually the kind of man that deserves you!! what are his good points?
he has moved on and even had a baby. how would you feel about this if you actually did get back with him? his situation has changed entirely.
your new boyfriend sounds like a much nicer person than him, but you don't seem to be with him for the right reasons. think about why this might be: is it because you are hung up on your ex or is it just because your boyfriend just 'isn't right' for you? maybe a break from your boyfriend might give you some space to think and sort your head out
xx
A
female
reader, kaykay1989 +, writes (23 March 2011):
 Where to start ay? I think as much as you need closure you arn't going to get it from him. You will get over him but it will take time sweeti. Time is a great healer might take a while but I don't think you messaging him is going to help. I think you should just leave it and messaging him isn't going to help you get over him. It will only make things worse for you so you need to cut him off.I also don't blame you Bf for feeling the way he does because I don't think you would like it if the shoe was on the other foot and he kept wanting to keep in touch with him ex. I think you need a break from men till you get over him because it isn't fair on your bf and its not fair on you having any extra stress. xoxoxox
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