A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HiI guess this is a question asked so many times on here but it is still a big thing to me so I appreciate everyone taking the time to read and advice.I will start with the main problem and then tell the details of the story. I still seem to have feelings for my ex but we broke up two years ago.I am now in my mid thirties and before I came out I was married to a woman. It was him who discovered about my true sexuality and who also encouraged me to come out and live the life I longed for.I got a divorce, we became a couple and stayed together for just a little over a year. It was the most wonderful time of my life.Ever since we broke up I have not been in a relationship. I did have feelings for this one guy I work with. I guess you could say I was very fond of him and for that time it seemed to work out fine. I thought I had moved on and once and for all forgotten about my ex.I was also really sad that in the end nothing really developped between us. How can my feelings for my ex still be so strong after two years of being apart and after even having fallen for another guy? How can they still be there? No matter how much time passes they just don't seem to fade away.I mean I did get over him after the break up. I have accepted that we are over and that there will never be anything between us anymore. I know he is definitely over me!I know all this in my brain but it is the intensity of those feelings that freaks me out.If he was to show up at my doorstep tomorrow I would not hesitate a minute. I would immediately get back together with him.It's not like I have to think of him 24/7 or anything, I even live a completely normal daily routine and go without thinking of him for ages but when I think of him it is so intense. It feels like he is still missing in my life and like he always will be. It just does not feel right that we are apart.Why do I still feel love for him?! I am not even interessted in starting anything with another guy. I was really in love with this co-worker as well and I have been over those feelings for such a long time now. I never think of this man in a romantic way anymore.Nothing happened, now we're friends - that's alright with me. But my ex I still miss him so much and no matter what that just never seems to go away.Anyone who thinks they can help you are more than welcome.Thanks for taking the time
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2010): If you still know how to get in touch with your ex give him a friendly buzz to reopen the lines. Hey, he might be thinking of you. You have nothing to lose but if you don't try you might be passing up something meant to be.
A
female
reader, _nataliebeebaybee1  +, writes (24 December 2010):
 when you think about it youve had a thing for a boy at work, he may not have matched upto your ex as much as you wanted him to.
I went out with a boy for 2 years ive had 1, 1 year relationship with anyother boy and im with a boy now who ive been with for a year. My first boyfriend ( 2 year one) was very hard to get over INGFACT i cant seem to get over him. It all depends on why yous split up in the first place. Conisder this -
~ Did you constantly argue with your ex ?
~ Sometimes you may miss the person you were when you were with your ex, it can be difficult to ever get that back even if you did get back with him !
~ are you comparing the previous co-worker with that of your ex without actually looking elsewhere ?
After 2 year I finally found a boy I could really say that I love just as much as my ex of two year. He is alot less agressive but has a similar look and sense of humour. Theres always similar people. So what Im trying to say is, try your hardest to go for the same look, If that doesnt work id tey getting back with your ex because you obviously still seem to miss him a great deal !
You say the feeling comes in odd waves that become really intense, I get the exact feeling from time to time. They will probable always be in your heart because they opened up a new side to life they made you feel happy. Its almost like a craving ! But believe me find someone similar if that works you will move on in time and the intense waves become less frequent. If you cant get back with him, take it slow and enjoy your relationship. Hope this helped. Good luck ! xxx
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