A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How do I get over an old ex? My ex left me nearly 18 months a go and I don't think I have got over him yet. He has a new girlfriend and I have seen a few men and slept with way too many since the split. But no amount of new men will get him out of my head. I dream about all the time and everytime i think about us together i get an actual physical pain in my stomach. My new approach is to not see any men at all but its not helping. I still think of him a few times a day and when i see him it makes me want to die. Why do I still feel like this 18 months on and how can i get better?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2011): The healing process after breaking up with someone you've shared a lot with and cared for deeply can be a lengthy and complex one. To have all the hopes and dreams and plans for the future you've been building around a person disappear in an instant is a huge shock to the system and you need to allow yourself enough time to grieve for the loss of all this before you can move on.
Don't spend any more time pining for your ex (although I know that's much easier said than done); you must concentrate on yourself now. Turn to friends and family for emotional support because they have your best interests at heart and can be invaluable at times like this. Go out, take up hobbies, meet new people even if you aren't feeling particularly sociable - but above all, please don't sell yourself short by having any more casual encounters with men. You're worth much, much more than that!
Sooner or later you'll meet someone who'll love and cherish you with all that he is, and the pain of this split will fade away. Right now you're still hurting (don't worry about the fact it's been 18 months, different people take a different amount of time to get over something like this) but of course you won't feel this way forever. You're still young. Don't lose heart :) Good luck and take care x
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