A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend of 17 months broke up last thursday we have a 8 month old together. we always had problems in our relationship fighting,drama ect. we have broke up 10 but each time we always find our selves back together. like as if something more was holding us together. we had been broke up for 3 weeks before and the got back together. this time we have been broke up for almost 2 weeks. when we was dating we would fight about little things. mostly me staying mad at him. he treated me great! he told me he loved me all the time he would cuddle and hold me told me i was beautiful he also told me that im the one he wants to marry some day.. but tonight i found out that he went to the movies with another girl how i found out? i had a feeling he was. he said that he isn't dating her. i said really mean things to him. but for some reason i still feel like in my heart that we was meant to be.. something is telling me that everything is going to be okay and for some reason i'm not sad about finding out that he was with another girl. is that weird? i love him so much. and i really miss him.. what is going on with me? why do i still feel like we are meant to be? and why do i feel like everything will be okay?
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (26 March 2012):
 You seem to lack self-esteem (or maybe you have too much self-confidence) and are sabotaging your relationship and driving this guy away. You don't want to have to mature and grow up and just be in love and happy like adult women do. Nope, you still want drama noise and excitement. Him dating another girl (he's not cheating, you drove him away remember and now he is single) and still loving you, gives you everything you want. You can be loved but you don't have the responsibility about trying to make a relationship work. Don't know about your family background, but maybe your not used to seeing adults happy in love, or maybe you have seen it and it looks elderly and boring and turns you off.
You need to work on yourself and find out why you need such drama and noise in your relationships. Don't date anyone until you are more emotionally stable. Write down on a piece of paper what caused every single argument and every single break up. Maybe there is a certain pattern. Maybe there is something that triggers it. You didn't say if it was him always walking out, or you always throwing him out.
Missed the bit about the baby... maybe you are angry with him for getting you pregnant and this is your way of punishing him forever. It's a pity though, if your doing this, then your depriving your child of a father. Maybe some counselling will help. Do you have some health workers still supporting you and the baby, maybe you could have a word with them. It could also be signs of postnatal depression.
I think you need help, your not acting like an adult woman who is responsible for a baby. Coming here was a good start, asking for further help from professionals will really change your life I think.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 March 2012):
 Maybe because of lack of imagination, or lack of self esteem, or both: you can't figure in your mind how it would be living a solid,functional, mature relationship with no drama and no petty fights , and you don't feel you can get one, so you make do with what you have and you convince yourself that everything is OK.
I don't particularly believe in " meant to be ", and I think that everybody is the co-creator of their destiny , but ,if any, a dysfunctional pattern of 10 break -up / make up cycles whould show the opposite, that you are NOT meant to be together.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2012): Its not just you two anymore, your parents now and theres a baby involved.Time to grow up and stop this pattern of behaviour.
Splitting up, arguing, cheating.... its no good for anyone.
You either make a proper go of it, as a family - or end it.
He can't keep leaving and coming back now.Time to put your cards on the table and have a serious adult conversation with him. For your childs sake.
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