A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My friend is lately having a lot of troubles in her life, and I feel like she might not be able to handle them on her own. Her parents verbally and physically abuse her. Her mom calls her fat (which she's not), and a whore, and has said that she will never amount to anything. Her dad also beats her at times, with belts and pans. Being as her mom constantly puts her down, she has become a bulimic, although not throwing up all the time she has mentioned at least twice of making herself barf, and says she's fat almost every day. She also now has a boyfriend, who I really don't like. He's cheated on her before, and has recently began to "monitor" her. When I wanted to get together with her after school he all of a sudden wanted to come, and during this time he was very controlling, he would only let us go where he wanted to go. Later that evening, she told me he had yelled at her and made her cry, and had pulled her and elbowed her when she tried to leave. I told her that that was abuse, and she just shrugged it off as him just being mad in the moment. I kind of got angry, told her that what he was doing wasn't right and she should leave him, but she kept defending him. It makes me scared that if he does do something worse like hit her or attack her she won't tell me. So now I'm at a loss of what to do. Do I call someone? If so, who? She's mentioned she doesn't want cps called because she doesn't want to be put in foster care, and I worry that if I call the school she'll know it was me and not trust me anymore. She's such a sweet girl and deserves so much more than what she getting right now.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): Thank you everyone, I'm thinking I will most likely call the school and ask a consuler to talk to her, hopefully that will help.
Thank you again!
A
female
reader, tatertots  +, writes (28 March 2012):
hey i kinda know how she feels. i come from a bad home enviroment but i make it through with my music. when i was young i started to take piano lessons. a few years later i learned guitar. i was able to make it through my parents fighting and yelling at me knowing that i could play a tune and make it better. talk to her and help her find something that will take away the pain and sorrow and dont be afraid to tell someone what people are doing to her because she will know that you are trying to help
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A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (26 March 2012):
 Errr...How old is your friend? Maybe she can do some weight-training and build up some muscle so she'll be able to fight. Tell her to go to a gym. This is a bad situation because sometimes kids are treated with no respect. I don't know if there is anything you can do. The police only have the power to intervene if something really bad happens. As for the bulimia (not sure how it's spelt), she might have to talk to a Doctor or a Psychiatrist about it. Of course, it is not good for someone very young to have to see a Psychiatrist but in this situation there are exceptional circumstances.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (26 March 2012):
 Hmmmm, tough situation. I admire you for wanting to help her so much, but she probably doesn't see it as a problem because she doesn't want to face facts.
It might take her a while to realise that she is infact being abused and all you can do is be there for her when that happens. You can talk to her about charities that help young girls (I don't know any in America, but here in the UK we have childline and samaritans etc) encourage her to talk to them if she can't get hold of you for whatever reason.
Her boyfriend sounds vile, I would also document everything she says that he does to her, just incase the police have to be involved.
Domestic abuse is a serious subject, maybe find some information for support online for her to hide in her bedroom, so at least she knows that you're looking out for her.
Good luck, i hope this all stops for her soon :) x
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