A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my ex because he wouldn't make a commitment. He wanted to keep his options open. even though he wasn't dating anyone, he wanted the option of being able to. I thought that wasn't fair to me, I wasn't asking him to marry me, but just to not want to see other girls and he couldn't do that It was so difficult for me to get over him. I hit a low point, I bought self help books and cried myself to sleep for a long time. but after a while I did get over it and I felt happy and like myself again. But then out of the blue yesterday he randomly texted me. It was something I would have found adorable if we were together but it broke my heart all over again. And I'm back to crying and curling in bed. I thought I was doing so well but one little text was enough to reduce me to that girl again. What's the matter with me? Why do i still care for someone that never cared about me? Why do I find myself staring at the phone praying he would text again? I hate this
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female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (3 February 2013):
 Feelings are not objective, they simply exist. You have feelings towards this man and they exist for whatever personal reasons you may have. The key is to not let your emotions and feelings make decisions for you. You made an objective decision to end the relationship and you came to that conclusion on your own time. Just because your feelings have not caught up to your brain doesn't mean it's the wrong decision because the two are not in sync. Hard decisions rarely have the head and the heart in agreement.
Block his number and don't look back. Clearly you cannot handle any distractions or contact with your ex. This is why people always encourage a clean break with no contact, so that they don't get a set back like you just had.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): That's really unfair of him to do that to you, but don't worry because you were moving on from him but you were obviously still not ready for things like that. But you can feel like you did again but you need you get rid of everything that reminds you of him and have zero contact and if he is sending you text messages then you need to change your number because unless you have zero contact then you won't be able to get over him. And then you will be able to move on from him again.Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (2 February 2013):
Why do you think he didn't care about you? It may seem impossible, but there are people who love people but don't want to be exclusive. Plenty of them. He loved you in his own way and you loved him in yours.
Unfortunately they were too different to be compatible so you did the right thing by leaving him. The reason you feel so strongly is because you loves him and you felt rejected by him.
This can play tricks on you because people want so strongly to be accepted by the people they care about. It's an instinct that can wreak havoc on people as you're well aware.
You need to block his number so you don't have the anxiety of wondering if he'll call you. Then you need to accept the the fact that he did love you but you were just incompatible. He didn't reject you, it was you that rejected him. Remember that and never look back.
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (2 February 2013):
 Because you are human! He broke your heart and it's hard. Allow yourself time to cry then get yourself back out there, you did it once you can do it again.
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