A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why do I overthink everything when I'm in a close relationship? When I meet a woman I don't really think of anything other than the moment. I'm relaxed, I can be myself, there's really no problems. So why is it as soon as we get close, or rather very close, it seems I can't do anything without completely overthinking it? If I do this I might have to worry about A, if I do that I might have to worry about B, will she give me a better reaction if I offer C or D, etc, etc. I guess it would be good if I was a chess player but I'm sick of doing it in a relationship. Am I that insecure? Please can someone help me so I can just enjoy the moments I share with my SO? Thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy thanks to everyone for their answers. I guess insecurity and anxiety are strong issues to get over. But they are ones I'm going to work at. Thanks again!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): Oh my gosh - do you know how refreshing it is to hear that from a guy??? It often seems to us ladies that men dont think at all so you should be proud of yourself! Dont fight it but dont forget to have fun either. And just ask yourself when you get in a state - how important is this in the grand scheme of things?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): I fully agree with the previous responder. We are wrong in thinking that someone will like/love us, will stay with us, because of how we manipulate our image or circumstances... Significant others like/love us b/c they do... It's as simple as that. Repeat this to yourself until you realize it's the truth and accept it. Trust that things we'll work out for the best. A book that has helped me deal with this tendency to overthink everything and worry about everything is Rick Carson's book "Taming Your Gremlin." All the best!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): Just enjoy the moment lolJust relax breath and remember that it's okay if this chick wants you she'll take you as you are and if she doesn't well it's not meant to be.Good luck.
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A
female
reader, xxmissxx  +, writes (3 August 2009):
 you really are thinking too much into things. i bet your upsetting alot of potential girlfriends by behaving like this. yes, ok, some girls are over emotional, this il grant you. so if your thinking inside the box, if you do a, b or c, they may think its something more than it is. but on the other side of things,think outside the box, i dont think youve met miss right yet, as when you do, trust me, you wont care one little bit about over thinking a, b or c, it will feel natural for you both. but to find miss right, you will definatly have to take the anxiety out of thinking about what your doing. whatever happned to taking things slowly, and making sure the girl knows this!
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