A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently broke up with someone because he only wanted to have sex with me. I didnt do anything with him but he is one of many who just want to sleep with me. I dont know why I only attract the jerks because I dont dress like a slut or sleep around and make sure the guy is genuine before I do anything with him. All of the nice guys that I know are either not into me or are taken and the ones who approach me are the "bad boys" Why do I only attract these type of men? Do they think I am easy, even though Im not?
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (19 May 2009):
 All of the nice guys that I know are either not into me or are taken.
The last bit is the best explenation. While there are plenty of okay guys out there, they are taken and the woman who got them make sure they keep them. A nice guy also wouldn't play around/cheat so that cuts them out of the market even more.
A common reason for your problem is also that the woman in question is herself attracted to be bad boy and thinks the nice guys are boring dorks who need to liven up.
That however seems not to be the case. I would however ask you this. How are you attractive to a guy who would not be with you just for the sex.
To be nasty, there are a lot of bad girls who have nothing to offer but sex. They got no hobbies, got nothing to talk about. Not saying that is the case with you, but why would the nice guys you do know not be into you? It is not about who you really are, but the perception they have of you.
Since you know some guys that fit your description, see what kind of girls they are into. What is different.
Nice guys often are simply guys who got other intrests then sex. They therefor got to balance their free time between pursueing a girl and their hobbies/work/etc. If you give of the wrong signal then they might not risk it with you because being turned down sucks and they could be doing something else in the same time.
Bad boys on the other hand got no other intrests, they shoot at anything that moves, often missing but making up for it in sheer quantity.
I can't say why you only attract jerks, you know the guys you would want to date, so find out.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (19 May 2009):
 True that I also evolved from immature to manhood. We all should.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (19 May 2009):
Why do you "only seem to attract the jerks?" Simply because most young men in your age range are jerks of some kind - plus boyish, selfish and often stupid.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): Try hard to get. Stop looking for a Mr right and look for Mr wrong. If your attracting the jerks look at the men you wouldn't normally look at and strike up a conversation?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): You're complaining about who goes after you. Well that's what players do. They go after anything under the sun and see where they hit paydirt.
You'll probably do better if you do a little more initiating yourself. There will probably be some rejection from time to time when you're making your own moves, but the bigger spoils often go to those who take the bigger risks in life. You don't need to go way out embarrassing yourself and jumping guys, just try giving more overt hints than you're used to and see what happens.
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