A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm having a problem that I can't seem to get rid of. For the past several years I have been dreaming, thinking and fantasizing (non-sexually) about another guy while with someone else. I have tried to contact this other guy for god only knows what reason only to get no reply back. I'm going through depression but the guy I'm with refuses to let me take the medication because you need to have 24/7 watch while on it. I think the reason why I'm trying to contact by writting because I don't have his number and it's unlisted with this other guy is because he has been the closest thing I've ever had in a friend and somewhere along the lines, I screwed it up. Now, amazingly, I have no friends. I want to be able to talk to someone, anyone who understands. I don't feel like the guy I've been with all these years really supports me spiritually. I'm not sure what I should do or where to go from here. I'm not looking for anything romatic with this other guy, just an honest friendship, I'm in way too deep with the guy I've been with. It's been almost six years since I last spoke with the other guy and I miss him. I've written to him just about every other week since then. Three letters have been sent to him with no reply the rest have been long destroyed. Help. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand what you are saying but when you can't talk to anyone including your partner, then what other options do you have? The only one that I really could talk about everything wants nothing to do with me. He was my only only friend I've had since high school. But I've done him wrong.
Things aren't that great from my point of view. I've given up on everything but the hopes of talking to him. And I know I'm strong enough not to intimate with him. I'm not allowed by other forces to really be able to go out with friends.....not that I have any. I don't go anywhere. The guy I'm with don't want to take me out. Hell, He don't even want to marry me, but who can blame him right?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): ... first i'd like to say...
... i dont know exactly how you feel... but i understand though... because i've been "that guy"... ... i ignored the letters because i didn't want to get between... even if things really do look great on your side...
... the way i see it... most gurls are vulnerable when they are depressed... and thats a good and strong oppurtunity for a guy... any guy... to swoop in and take the prize... ... a really good friend wouldn't do that (i'm sure)... even if you think it can never happen ... most strong relationships... even weak ones... occur from even a simple intimate and close conversation that has pretty much a 50% chance of sprouting out... ... the other 50% would depend deeply on the kinda of person you are...
... if i were the guy who ignored the sent letters... i'd miss my friend too...
... i dont want to sound harsh... i know its been 6 years... ... but maybe... he's just not the guy that can support you spiritually... ... then again maybe he is... talking to your partner is always a good choice... ... i guess... dont get your hopes up(?).. or dont expect too much from him(?)..
... i'm sorry if things dont work out... ... good luck...
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