A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:[OP original title]Hey all, I've got a little bit of a problem; it's about me and my girlfriend, we do everything apart from sex and I don't feel like I'm missing anything (we've both agreed on no sex for personal reasons). When we do stuff, I never really enjoy it, and if I do, I feel dirty after, like it's not love at all, it's just lust.I'm not sure what to think, because what guy doesn't enjoy getting intimate, oral sex and lots and lots of fondling.. The only explanation I can think of is this - when we start stuff, it's usually her that makes the first move then I usually take control from there on, like take the intimate kisses further and kiss around her neck, run my hands down her and go even further, but she seems to stop right there, she'll receive all the pleasure without giving any back. She only returns the favor when I've made her cum, and she doesn't do it nicely, she just kind of goes "What do you want? Handjob.. Blowjob?" it just doesn't feel right!Basically, I'm confused and I want to know if what I'm feeling is unusual, or normal, and what I should do.Any answers will be of great use and I'll be depending on them, thanks a lot.
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male
reader, Cloverfield +, writes (11 August 2010):
 Well, my guess as to why you're not enjoying it, is that she sounds quite terrible at foreplay. I think you should have a chat with her about technique, spontaneity, the things you like / dislike. It could simply be that she's had little prior experience, or feels uncomfortable doing things, is unsure about boundaries etc.
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (11 August 2010):
 Maybe its her casual attitude to it. You need to initiate a conversation with your girlfriend on the issue, to the effect that maybe, just maybe, she's being a little selfish in this. It might upset her, though - many women are upset by such allegations even if their contribution to lovemaking ends with lying back and uncrossing their legs.
On the other hand, if it doesn't bother you, why not just let it go?
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A
female
reader, aunty laurla  +, writes (11 August 2010):
From what i have read it seems that you only want to satisfy her, its normal to feel this way. Although you should explain that use are both in the relationship together and that you need to be pleasured. Try different things that will satisfy you both. As for the feeling dirty part, this is a natural feeling as its psychological, when you and partner are alone together you will do things that are out of character, from your normal day to day routines. Experimenting in new areas is just a case of your body adopting to new things. It will fade away eventually.
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