A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am a divorced man and have been single for well over a year. Since my divorce i have been quite active on the dating scene but have got to the point where i am so tired of being let down, or having my fingers burned from dating unavailable people both emotionally or by circumstances or by just meeting people that i just dont feel any real connection with. I wouldn't say that my expectations are too high but having been in an unhappy marriage i am more in tune with what i am looking for in a potential partner and more importantly, what i'm not. Without blowing my own trumpet too much i know after a lot of soul searching and process of recovery that i am a really great guy. I'm funny, interesting, considerate, have a great job and have a lot to offer. I meet people on a regular basis who i click with and would love to get to know better but they are all married.. My point is this, why do i never seem to meet single people who have no hang ups, dont play mind games and are willing to just be honest and chilled out about things without it always having to be such hard work? Part of me want to just give up and stop looking, but another side of me really wants to be with someone. Can anyone relate to this and offer some advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (10 February 2009):
If you are actively looking then you may just be attracting the wrong types.
Stop looking so hard for a while and just chill out and have some fun, go out looking to make new friends rather than girlfriends.
All the single girls who are lovely and have no hang ups are probably sick of meeting psycho guys so are hiding away in a place where friendship is the main motivation.
Get out there and stop worrying and you will meet someone lovely.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2009): Well, I hope you have soul searched to discover why your marriage couldn't be saved. If not, the problems don't go away, they just continue on in new relationships. Many times, when people 'stop looking', that's when opportunity comes your way. You're in your most 'natural' form, and comfortable with youself... and that is attractive.
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