A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi Peoples,After I broke up with my girlfriend who cheated on me, I've found I have only been with girls that have been in relationships. Either they have cheated or broken up with their boyfriends to be with me. This has been the case now for about 5 years.I realize now after some deep consideration and soul searching that this is not a very good path and I avoid any situations now where this may occur again in the future.The last time it happened I was with a girl I've been in love with for many years - she was with some guy, and cheated on him with me (she's also felt the same way about me for many years also). After, she totally freaked out and ended up telling her boyfriend what she had done and they broke up over it. She also stopped speaking to me (which I accept full responsibility for, and also accept the repercussions of what happened). I received some phone calls from her friends yelling at me for doing what I did, and the question I really want to know is how I am at fault?I know people call this type of thing "home wrecking" and I deserve to be single and alone for the rest of my life for the things I have done.I realize that the b/f's get hurt (because I was that guy once upon a time) and I can understand their anger and hurt. And I understand I hurt her (indirectly and unintentionally (well at least not deliberately done to hurt her - as I thought she would be happy with me and we could be together forever)). But what I don't get is - if people decide to cheat on their partners, they need to do so fully accepting the repercussions that will occur from that. Because I don't have a g/f, if I see or speak to someone I want, why do I need to respect their circumstances - if they themselves don't show it?Thanks
View related questions:
broke up, cheated on me Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (9 April 2009):
 You need to repsect other peoples relationships because it is the moral thing to do. I don't mean from a religous angle either. There is a scale of good and bad in this world. We are judged on how we balance on this scale of life.
Do you want to take part in a world where everyone only does what suits them? Why raise money for charity if you don't need help? Why help a blind person cross the street if you can see? Why open the door for an old person with a cane? Why return the wallet you found on the corner? We do these things because we hope someone would do the same for us some day. Also, it just because someone else is on a path of destruction doesn't mean you need to join in.
In the end, you really need to experience true love before you can fully appreciate how much pain you can cause by being the third person in the love triangle. In order to understand the pain you need to understand the lost love.
A
female
reader, kissxmexagainx  +, writes (9 April 2009):
 it takes two to tango. yes, it was wrong of you to hook up with a girl that was in a relationship, but it was just as much her fault as it was yours. It's not fair for her friends to blame you completely. it's not like you had a gun to her head. Cheating is never right, but like I said it takes two.
by the way, my boyfriend && I are together [&& plan on getting married] as a result of me cheating on my ex. they were best friends. I feel bad && wish I did things differently now [aka- broke up with my ex first] but it did result in an amazing relationship. so I can't judge you. but I still think cheating is wrong.
...............................
|
