A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright here it is.I have always been attracted to older guys. Even when I was little, like four or five I would try to kiss all the adult males (not blood related of course) that were around me. I'm nineteen now going to be twenty and by this age i'm attracted to men around 30-40 years old and I don't know why. This one man i have a huge crush on is Forty and I think he's completely gorgeous and very sweet. However, he's older than my parents! My parents had me at a young age. I heard that girls who like older guys, usually do it because they want a father figure. BUT, the thing is i think my dad and I have a healthy relationship. I love him dearly. I don't like the college boys at my university because they are silly and immature and they still look young. I find myself looking at the professors rather than my classmates. I know I could date an older man if I wanted to and I was thinking about going through with it. But my question is- why am i looking at these older guys? Can anyone give me reasons for this.Has anyone my age dated an older guy/man before? Was it because of a bad relationship with your father? Or did the two of you just like one another.Men out there-did you feel more like a father or an actual boyfriend/date with a younger girl?One other thing, recently I have been having a thing for men with babies. Anytime i see a good looking man with his baby, i feel kinda tuned on, well i don't know if its turned on exactly but I can't turn away I have to watch him play with his baby. It's just so sweet!Dear god what is wrong with me?oh and sorry about the crappy writing i had to do this fast. Confused
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male
reader, pvn2474  +, writes (27 September 2010):
It is very, very common that young girls like older men. Basically, females seek security, protection in a relationship. That is their main issue. Identity, family and these things comes in, later. I am 36, and I see that women here (Denmark) is even more interested in me than when I was 25 and younger. It is a very normal phenomenon. So, Miss Confused, no need to be confused. Of course there are many taboos in the west about this thing, and that is really what is bothering you, that you have been taught, by your society, by your...whatever is around you, that this is not ideal. Please do not put importance into these taboos and just live as you are, not as the society wants you to be. Nothing is wrong with you, of course not. Your preference is completely normal. Don't think about it, release the judgements your sorrounding has put into you and go for it!
Best wishes :-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2010): There's nothing wrong with you at all. It's natural for girls and women to be attracted to older men. So quit worrying about it. I'm an older man of 53, and I've had women in their 20s and 30s give me admiring looks. Feelings aren't right or wrong, they just are. So if you are attracted to older men and want to pursue a relationship with one, go for it and don't worry about others think. You have to live your own life and go with what feels right for you.
And, as an older man, thank you to all the younger women out there who appreciate men like me. If I were lucky enought o date a woman in her 20s or 30s, I would treat her like a queen, and believe me, there are plenty of other older men who would do the same.
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A
female
reader, plsgma  +, writes (8 March 2010):
I wonder the same thing about myself - I look at my past loves and notice they all have something in common - their age. I lost my virginity at 17 to a man of 52; then had a huge 3 year relationship with a man of 47; now seeing someone who's 45, and in love with a man who's 52. Throughout this there's been the odd crush on teachers & lecturers. I've found myself wondering lately why this is - I don't generally check out guys my own age, my eye will always be wandering to the men who are significantly older than me.
As for Daddy issues, I have a great relationship with my Dad, though he always worked a lot when I was younger. I don't see how it has much bearing though - for me it's all about the sexual attraction - I can see how guys my own age (21) are good-looking, but I never really find them sexy.
You asked if anyone has dated a significantly older man - I was engaged to my ex - I was 18, he was 47. The relationship was fantastic, really. The reason we split up had nothing to do with the age difference - it was just him - he refused to find a job, and used to sit at home all day watching TV, leaving my to clean the house and do all my work for my degree. Hence I dumped him. I was very much in love with him, and it was difficult to do. But, now I'm seeing a man who is 45, and very successful, so I don't have to worry about a similar problem!
I think these relationships can totally work, obviously seeing as they're the only one's that I pursue! Try it and see!
Oh God, by the way - men with babies! OMG ME TOO! Whenever I see a man with a child, I can't stop watching them! I think it's an evolutionary thing, that you're subconsciously looking for a man who would make a good father to your children! I totally get that!
Seriously, if you two like each other, see what happens, don't feel like there's some kind of barrier because of the age!
One word of warning though - depending on how liberal your parents are, it might piss them off that he's older than you... I had a long dispute with my parents about the ex. Sometimes I think it would be so much easier if I was attracted to men my own age, but alas, it is not to be. It's just the way I am.
Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, Sophia888 +, writes (5 February 2010):
I'm Married to an older man (twice my age!). Like all relationships it comes with it's own set of difficulties - they're just different than the norm. Both his children are the same age as me but I love his family and I wouldn't have it any other way. Currently we are experiencing a rough patch because we both want children and for us that means having children sooner rather than later, so he is still young while they are growing up. Unfortunately, because of his age it has been difficult to get pregnant. All I'm saying is: A relationship with an older man is just as full-filling as any other, just it comes with different pros and cons to being with a younger man.
To answer your concern... there's no real answer to fancying older men. I have both a very supportive and healthy relationship from my father and step-father. I have always fancied older men and have failed miserably at relationships with men the same age as me. We just don't "click". If you're happy then It's right.
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A
female
reader, Holli' +, writes (12 January 2010):
 You not the only girl who is attracted to older guys, we are attracted to older guys because they are more mussely have more respect for women and have stubble, they also seem more manly and protective than a student. I think it is the thought of feeling protected by a mussely fiqure that turns us on, or turns me on at least.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): Perfectly normal.Just don't completely count out the males of your generation. They aren't all immature twats.And how do you think older men get their maturity? By spending half their lives being immature and dating girls, younger, older, same age. Goin and seeing things.How can they get that experience if women only date men who are 'older'?Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (11 January 2010):
I used to look incredulously at couples where the woman was significantly younger than her guy. The assumption was she must be a gold digger and he must be rich!! But since I started dating older men I can't even look at the young'uns anymore! If there is a hot team of footballers I'm busy trying to check out the coach! If there is a group of marines I'm checking out the officers/ commanders! I think its the maturity, confidence, stability and possibly the fact that I like successful men in positions of authority? But I think you are completely normal. You are of age so there is nothing wrong with you dating them. Just make sure that they are NOT married though.
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A
male
reader, chuck123  +, writes (11 January 2010):
it's normal, you are just different; iam attracted to older women too. so just go ahead and live your life screw who ever doesn't like it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010): There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! You sound very mature for your age, so I think you are looking for older, more mature men. (Or more mature than the college boys around you.) I've also preferred older guys because I feel more comfortable around them. They are also more worldly and I love listening to their stories. Some of it is probably your personality too, if you're more studious and low key. Again, it's not a bad thing to like older men. It's just a preference, nothing wrong with it at all! Take care!
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A
female
reader, mezzo_soprano_reader +, writes (11 January 2010):
 Oh, goodness, you are fine! I like older men, too, and I'm younger than you. Here's how I feel about it: since you're just in college, our generations are linked rather close, so... Guys around our age--we've been stuck with them since elementary school, and stuck with that for twelve, thirteen years without any maturity definitely leaves us blind to them. However, the older guys who have a stable life, goal, and are earnest in everything they do just make me, personally, melt. And a guy good with kids is just our maternal instincts kicking in saying, "YES! Oh, God, I want his baby!" Haha, sorry for the humour. But you must see what I'm getting at. The oldest I've ever really dated was six-seven years older than me, and he's still a little immature. But my best friends are 32 and 22. Granted, they're my instructors, but I don't have any real best friends in school anymore. The others graduated, so my teachers are replacing them (also, I get what you mean at looking at teachers; I have a crush on one of my teachers).
So you're normal. Oh! And to answer your questions, I don't really have a father since my parents are divorced, but my older brothers stepped in as my fatherly figures, and they and I have a healthy relationship as far as I'm concerned (my older brothers are 35 and 33). So nothing's wrong with you. You're completely fine. :3
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