A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is it bad that when i go on a night out i like the idea of meeting guys and getting the attention from them? I want to make out with them, but not so that it leads to sleeping together cause i couldn't do that with a stranger! But I don't understand why i like the attention and the idea of meeting guys and being intimate and having a laugh with them... yet every time it happens i freak out and make an excuse to move away, i guess cause i don't feel that i have control over what is happening. Even though i want it to?So what I'm trying to say is, why do i like the idea of it, but never want to follow through with it? (Also it's nothing to do with being inexperienced either, so it confuses me even more!?) Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (28 May 2011):
 I think you are testing your own sexual boundaries.
Nothing is wrong with kissing/making out as long as you arent telling the object of your attention that he is going to get more than some kissing!
Maybe the attention is your "drug" and you like the high.
Enjoy it! Just be honest with others about what you will and will not do.
Best Wishes
A
male
reader, a-g55 +, writes (27 May 2011):
 Your someone who needs validation from others before you can feel good about yourself. And when A guy gives you attention it gives you a buzz and a feeling of self gratification.
You also want to be in control. If the guy was attractive to you but a lot more submissive and shy. that would probably make you more likely to sleep over. but if your good looking (a 8/10 or above) then you attract a confident , alpha male type guy. they tend to want to take you home that night..
your probably the type of girl that would appreciate a guy asking for a date another time and taking it at your pace!
if you need more advice feel free to message me
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2011): "cause i don't feel that i have control over what is happening"
This is why. This is also smart not to engage in something that you don't have control over to a significant degree. Many people don't and do have sex, and it is often fraught with foreseeable bad consequences.
You will do it when you are ready.
Don't do it because everyone else is, or under pressure, because that all turns out bad.
Don't feel like you are the only one not doing it, you aren't, but those who aren't usually aren't going around bragging about it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2011): I would say it's because you want the affection and approval without the intimacy. Perhaps you're afraid of being overwhelmed by someone or losing yourself in a relationship. Lost of attention from lost of different people gives you a quick fix.
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