A
female
age
26-29,
*ozAnonymous
writes:I've had crushes on about 6 different male teachers but I'm not sure why, my parents are a lot older than most and I have never had a boyfriend or male friend, I don't have any brothers either. I've got really bad anxiety and I worry about things all the time recently my business teacher has noticed me feeling down and he keeps saying how I don't seem very happy and asking me what's wrong. I just tell him nothing or it doesn't matter but the truth is I don't know what to say I just feel down all the time and I don't know why, I can't tell him I don't know what's wrong because then I'll sound stupid. Recently I've started having feelings for him and they are more strong than they have been for other teachers. It seems like as soon as any male teacher cares about me I develop feelings for them could this be down to the fact I have an older father who is 66 and I've never really had a man of his age in my life before (40 or early 40's) or down to the fact I have depression,thanks for any help in advance.
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crush, my teacher, never had a boyfriend Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2014): Your low self esteem and anxiety issues sound a lot like me when I was at school. I was absolutely positive that no one would ever want to date me because I was well below average on the scale of looks and as for anxiety, I was having panic attacks constantly and it didn't help that I got bullied pretty badly.
It took me years to finally stand up to the girls that bullied me, but when I did, they backed off and it immediately became clear that I had the ability to silence a person. Everyone feels some sort of anxiety at some point and the best thing to do is force yourself into a situation that makes you uncomfortable and you'll quickly realise that you are capable of so much more than you believe.
Trust me on this one and give it a shot, the people you talk to don't have to be the best looking guys in school, just say hi to someone you're sat next to in class or join a conversation that you're sat close to. You'll soon manage to make friends that are male. No matter what people tell you, guys aren't always looking for a girl, some just want to hang out and chat about stuff.
And remember one thing, no matter what anyone says and no matter how you feel, you are beautiful. Everyone in beautiful in their own way and people will always see that beauty if you let them.
Good luck, you'll be absolutely fine :) Have a little faith in yourself and don't let other people put you down, but most of all, turn off that negative little voice in your head that says you're not good enough and turn up the positive one :)
A
female
reader, LozAnonymous +, writes (14 February 2014):
LozAnonymous is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your help, I'm relieved to see its normal and I don't like them all at the same time it's just over the past few years I've liked them at different times. I can see what your saying Babydoll, that seems to be a logical explanation because no one has ever been that nice to me before. I just find it hard to talk to people because of my social anxiety and low self confidence because I don't really classify myself as good or even average looking so I feel like if I talked to boys I would just humiliate myself.
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A
female
reader, LozAnonymous +, writes (14 February 2014):
LozAnonymous is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your help, I'm relieved to see its normal and I don't like them all at the same time it's just over the past few years I've liked them at different times. I can see what your saying Babydoll, that seems to be a logical explanation because no one has ever been that nice to me before. I just find it hard to talk to people because of my social anxiety and low self confidence because I don't really classify myself as good or even average looking so I feel like if I talked to boys I would just humiliate myself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2014): a lot of girls have crushes on teachers, trust me. but maybe if you start talking to guys it might stop. try doing something you like and you'll meet guys with the same interest. talk to your parents about how your feeling down all the time. not even a parent. maybe a friend or another person you trust. i've had crushes on teachers too# i even had a crush on a teacher who's 48 and i'm 13! weird. very weird. but i was kinda like you. i didnt really hang around with guys. but now i'm dating a boy who's my age. gud luck x!
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A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (13 February 2014):
 Your are on hormones pick, sort of second state (transe) that puts everything out of shape. Hormones during teen age is almost as strong as the psychedelic LSD, you don't understand well what's around you, and don't understand yourself anymore. Don't jump to conclusions about what you're really feeling, and about what these feelings really mean. Enjoy being high some days without always knowing the reason why, enjoy being light and flexible, enjoy being young and a little bit naive (that's way better than being blasé and bored), enjoy swimming in the great mystery of the world. Answers will come way too soon...And for your crushes: it might just be admiration for your teachers, associated to a sort of erotic mood. Anyway, six crushes at the same time, it's radically not love, just some innocent young lust.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2014): At your age (I speak from experience) your hormones are all over the place, one minute you're happy, the next your not. Trust me, everyone experiences it at different times, I've had it and at the time, I thought it was just me who couldn't control my emotions, but it's totally normal.And as for the crushes on your teachers, everyone has a crush on a teacher at some point, I very rarely speak to someone that hasn't. I used to crush on my English teacher harder than I ever thought possible and my science teacher at the same time. My English teacher is the loveliest woman in the world, honestly, she's so kind and I had serious bullying issues at school and she was the only one I ever wanted to talk to, the only one I thought about and the only one that I thought understood and cared. Because of the way she cared, I fell for her even harder. You're bound to crush on a teacher at some point and the fact that he is being nice to you at a time when you feel it is necessary means that you're finding it easier to fall for him. It's completely normal and there's really nothing to worry about. But considering that you've never have a male friend or boyfriend suggests to me that you maybe (in your subconscious) believe that he will be a good partner as he is far older than you and therefore more experienced in life and it's lessons. The attraction may never fade, but you will eventually get over it to an extent. Don't worry, it's normal :)
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