A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I need your help with something that's been bothering me. I've been friends with this guy for about 8 years. We've always been rather close and have fooled around a bit in the past. He has a girlfriend who he's been with for 2 years but recently he's been txting me and asking when can we meet up. I asked him why does he want to meet up with me when he has a girlfriend and he said to catch up and to see where it leads. He's admitted that he has feelings for me and that he always has. Also he keeps saying that he doesn't like his girlfriend and that she's fat and ugly, which I think is a horrible thing to say. We planned to meet up a few times with the understanding that we talk and that nothing else is going to happen.every time we set a date and time to meet, he always backs out. When this happens I get really angry and tell him not to contact me again. Usually within a couple of days he's txting again asking if we can meet.Why do I keep allowing myself to get drawn in by him? What can I do to end all of this?Please help. Thanx.xx.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx for your help.(especially Revrent) All of your comments make sense. I now have the confidence to ignore this guy and to cut him out of my life. Thanx.xx.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008): This guy doesn't have feelings for you, and he is lying to you when he says he thinks his girlfriend is fat and ugly, come on he has been with her for the last 2 years.
He is a cheater and he is simply playing with your feelings and gets a kick out of making you mad, you are simply allowing him to do this and he gets an ego boost that you care enough to get mad when he stands you up, and you are always there like a little dog waiting for him to ask you to meet again so he can do it all over again to you.
A dog waits for his master. He is the pupeteer....this is not a healthy relationship if you can call it that...this is going to be a pattern with you with men if you don't stop it now. Change your cell phone number and stop having any contact with this guy. He likes having a string of backup women and your it.
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A
male
reader, Revrent  +, writes (6 May 2008):
You already know what to do. If your honest you know that you have to block him. Don't get angry, don't get even, take care of yourself first. Right now he has the upper hand over you, only because you let him.
The comments he made about his girl friend should give you a clue. You know he does not say any of those things to her. He says them to get your sympathy and (if your honest) its working (you agreed to the meet ups).
Don't get angry at him, that just gives him power over you, be calm collective and ignore him.
If this is the guy you want to be in your life then let him know that when he is no longer with her that he can call you. Or if your ok with being the other woman then go that route also (not such a good route and they never work out but thats open to you also). From what your saying I do not get the impression the last option is open (and good for you but it had to be put out there for consideration).
You allow yourself to be drawn in because of a couple of things.
1.. its a little dangerous and everyone likes that
2. your attracted to something you cant fully have
3. YOUR NORMAL...everyone has to deal with this, and you will. It will get better, just remember take care of you first, the rest will follow and life does get better
God bless
John
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A
female
reader, lyzai  +, writes (6 May 2008):
leave the state,freestyle and get to allow new people into ur life.once u get the ryt one im sure u wld forget bouthim.vacation is all u need and not being a 2nd fidle,comon i believe ure a prettyladywith someworth
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