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Why do I have to bring such effort into forcing my ex to take responsibily re child support ?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Faded love, Family, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 April 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 15 April 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My child's father has sort of, abandoned responsibility.

I have filed for child support, but a part of me just wants to close the case because it's already been more of a hassle than anything. It's been such a mess that I feel like it takes away from enjoying my time with my child.

I know in the long run, this could be beneficial, but I'm feeling exhausted and discouraged. Why do I have to force everything?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2015):

I think it depends on how much money the man is making. Taking legal action may help you get money that a financially secure man earns but does not give you.

But if he isn't earning enough to support himself and pay child support at the same time, then probably no amount of legal action is going to change that problem.

Court action might squeeze a few more dollars out of a financially struggling man for a while. But it won't make him earn more.

Most men are already feeling maximum pressure to earn money in this day and age before child support payments even get into the picture.

Eventually the system will just run a struggling man into debtor's prison. That is great for the private prison industry and state govt profits but it only makes the job harder for a financially struggling man.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (9 April 2015):

janniepeg agony auntFor me, the grunge work, the paperwork I could deal with. It's all step by step and patient waiting. What would shock me is how I got involved with someone who only cares about himself. Where is the love? How can you create a life then ignore it? On the newspaper a title caught my eye. The law allows people to serve a divorce through facebook because it's common and it may be the only way to trace an ex lover.

Another reason why it's called "Fatherless America" is because of freedom, to walk away. There is also welfare to support single families. In some countries if you are pregnant the two of you are forced to get married or you stay in jail for committing love crimes. The difference is that here, the man is forced to cover some expenses, but not to stay with the family. Either way, sometimes it is not in a man's nature to take responsibility. It has to be forced. Morals have to be taught early on. For some men they only pay child support to avoid jail time, not because he cares about the child.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2015):

It's not about you, it's about your child's financial security. It might be a hassle, but struggling by yourself and taking full responsibility is just as much of a hassle.

Daycare, baby-sitters, trips to the pediatrician, dental costs, clothing, shoes, school supplies, a computer, school trips, toys, games, sneakers, meals...etc., etc., etc.!!!

Kids need a lot of things. Their fathers helped bring them into this world, and the least he can do is contribute some financially. That child didn't ask to be born; and while growing-up, shouldn't be denied or deficient of anything.

You'll supply plenty of love, affection, and protection; but that's not all a kid needs.

They day will come you'll wish you went through with it!!!

You deserve the help!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (8 April 2015):

Honeypie agony auntDon't give up, this is for your child and your child's future. I have seen the kind of hoops you have to go through, but once it's set up it out of your worries.

Why do you have to force it? Because the guy is not thinking of you OR his child... only himself.

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