A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am wondering whether it was my childhood that has caused me to have difficulty establishing good friends. I know in life we are lucky to have 5 really good life long friends but I do not appear to have any and I feel really lonely.I currently work as cabin crew for a major airline and I am meeting new people constantly but for some reason I cant seem to move the friendships on. I have tried holding events at my home but always keep them small as I could not bare for no one to show as happened to a women I knew who invited 25 and only 4 showed. Most of the times the so to be called friends I had always made excuses.I come from a family where I am an older half sister and there is a lot of bitchiness. They have really hurt me in the past so I keep my distance. There are 6 of them altogether so I feel pushed out. Their mother used to batter me as a child and the agencies got involved with her. I remained but was later shipped off to JA. I went to an all girls school but lived with my granmother who caused me nothing but embarassment so I did not invite friends around.I have three children and have some sort of a relationship but even he has noticed there is something wrong with me.I keep waiting for people to invite me out. Why do I feel that I have to keep making the effort all the time.Any advice would be appreciated. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi There
Thank you for your warm words of encouragement and words of advice. I will keep looking.
A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 Hi,I am sorry to hear about your childhood. I think in your case, how you develop as an adult has a lot to do with your childhood experiences. I guess, because of the tthings that has happened to you in the past, made you feel insecure about yourself, also I feel as if you have trust issues, so therefore you have difficulty expressing yourself, let your guards down, and not allowing you to be the real you around people. I am sure once you overcome trust, expressing yourself, insecurities, you will make lots of friends, have a healthy normal life. All you have to do is let yourself free. Somehow, you need to let go of your past. That little girl is not there anymore. Today, you are a free, independent, successful woman, with 3 beautiful children, that loves you and depend on you. Also, you have a loving partner. You have the life you deserve. Be proud of yourself! You have proven already that you are a strong person. Knows that your past was difficult for a reason, because God believes you are strong enough to handle... Don't put too much pressure approaching people, just relax, enjoy, be pleasant, and people will come along, stop paying too much attention to minor details, you will see that you will make lots of friends, and the friendships will develop naturally without any effort. Good luck
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