A
female
age
36-40,
*nc
writes:Hi I am struggling with an issue with my boyfriend and I don't know what to do anymore. I am 23 and my boyfriend is 24 my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2yrs. My boyfriend likes to smoke weed, but until now only did so very seldom (like 5-6 times a month). I never knew this until many months after we had started dating. When he was in Europe a yr ago he tried mushrooms and wants to do it again because he thinks it's fun and began smoking more often. Since he started hanging out with a new group of friends, he likes to smoke pot more often and this particular group of friends do all kinds of drugs, even mushrooms. I hate when I find out that he has smoked and I am scared that he will do mushrooms again because his friends can expose him to them plus worse drugs. It has even led me to dislike his friends and we end up getting into fights when they hangout.I am not sure why I hate that he does drugs so much. I have tried pot before a couple times and I have never liked it and would never dare to try anything else. I feel like doing drugs is immature and he does it just too "fit in". Maybe I am being a hypocrite. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't want to break up with him but it is also hard for me to pretend like it is not happening. I dont want to pressure him into stopping by giving him an ultimatum I just wish he would stop. When he smokes he comes over and acts like an idiot I just hate seeing him in that state. And I hate when he talks about it or when he talks about getting drunk until he gets sick with his friends. Its so stupid who wants to get so drunk they get sick??? Alot of people my age smoke pot, eat mushrooms, etc and I almost feel like I am overreacting and I dont have a right to be upset about this. How can I accept this? Do I not like it simply because I dont like doing it? Should I just chillout? I feel like this will be a constant burden on our relationship...
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drugs, drunk, immature, smokes Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (24 June 2009):
 If I was you I would dump this idiot! Why do you want to stay with a druggie? X
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009): I know this will be hard to hear, but if I were in your position I would have broken up with him when I found out he had hidden this information from me in the beginning. Easier said than done, however, as I have been in the same situation.
Tell him that it makes you feel unsafe to be around him when he is high. It makes you feel uncomfortable when he is not acting like himself, and you do not think it is a healthy behavior to be engaging in. If he respects your feelings enough to give up the habit, then great. If not, then this might just be a big enough difference of opinion that you two are simply not compatible enough. There are more mature men out there who would respect your feelings on this issue. But when you bring it up, try to focus the conversation more on how it makes YOU feel, rather than making it sound like an attack on him.
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