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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Okay so I'm a bi man who's not out as bi. I am confident and friendly and funny (so I'm told) here's my problem. I've been told more times than I can count how good looking I am by both men and women, people telling friends your friends good looking and so on. However for some reason people I like and am really attracted too are never interested in me. Like now there's one guy I really fancy now (he'd be the reason I came out bi) I've tried to chat to him a few times but get hardly anything from him. girls I really liked before, and they are with guys that aren't that attractive in my opinion. So if I'm the full package good looking funny generous friendly protective loyal what's going wrong for me Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (11 August 2015):
 Hi,
actually, there's nothing wrong with you @ all & as others have stated, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I can relate very closely to all you've expressed within your msg & the fact is, that very good looking individuals can/will make many around them feel quite intimidated.
It gets even worse, if the good looking person knows that & plays out on that.
Remember, your looks alone won't get you all that you want in your life, but it can certainly help, bec as we all know, our world is quite material & aesthetic.
Having said this, you needn't make any apologies for the way you look, present.
What is of utmost importance in my personal opinion, is how you carry yourself, how you treat others, whilst remaining humble @ all times.
When you are humble & able to just be you, without any expectations surrounding your looks, or anything else about yourself, then others will take more of a liking to you.
Basically, you'll be more approachable.
This doesn't mean that others don't notice you either way, bec they sure do, but you must change your own ways.
What i mean by this, is that you are good looking & that's great, but don't play on your looks alone, bec that is pretty shallow & others can see that in you.
Do not base all that happens to you, good or bad, around your physical attributes.
Be humble always & you will see the difference. The fact that you are an overall great catch is a positive, but not every person you like, must like you back, simply bec of your looks & every other positive attribute that you have.
Another fact, there will certainly be those who are simply jealous of you, bec of your looks.
There may be those, both men & women who want nothing to do with you relationship wise, bec you make them feel somehow uncomfortable. This may have something to do with their own self-worth, but overall, bec you may unknowingly be making others feel that they're beneath you, in the physicality dept.
I hope you can see where i am coming from here & by no means do i wish to be rude, nor to insult you.
You've asked for our general opinions, so i will give you mine, warts & all.
Just get on with your life, have no specific expectations & when the right person/people are meant to connect with you positively, it'll just happen.
You are obviously searching/looking in the wrong places @ the wrong time, or perhaps not. It may simply be, that @ present with those you fancy, it's just not meant to be.
They don't actually feel a connection with/to you, so don't take this personally.
Remain positive & don't worry about anything. You're only adding to your own inner stress levels.
All the best & let me know how you get on. :-)
A
female
reader, jls022  +, writes (9 August 2015):
First of all, being good looking is in the eye of the beholder so it may just be that you are not some peoples type. It happens to everyone, but it sounds like there are lots of people who do like how you look so that's a good sign. Secondly, it could be the vibe you are giving off. That can be anything from being a bit too desperate, to arrogance, to self-consciousness, to pretty much anything that people might be picking up on. We can't help you with that since we don't know you, but it might be worth looking at your behaviour and/or asking some of the people you know to tell you how you come across and see if there's something you can work on. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2015): Maybe you're trying too hard too? Just wait and you'll see. Like they say: just keep breathing, tomorrow will bring a new sunrise, who knows what the tide might bring.
And WhenCowsAttack is also right. Look on that too. :)
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack  +, writes (9 August 2015):
Maybe you're too conceited and people don't like that?
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