A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone. Need advice. I'm in a newish relationship and all is well with us so far but...He has been divorced from his wife and they have two children both under seven. He moved to this city for A job that has been very successful so the children and the mother had to come out here to the mother has a new boyfriend supposedly so that seems to be OK they been divorced three yearsHe has a house and when the kids and wife are here they all live togetherOk it feels weird. I I know nothing sexual is going on between them but it still feels like I'm the odd man out and how can I infiltrate this tightknit group? Suggestions? Too much trouble?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 August 2015):
 I think on one hand it's great that he has this good relationship with the ex-wife (for the kids sake and because it lowers drama) but on the other hand...
I would NOT want to be the 3rd wheel in my OWN relationship.
I have the utmost respect for men who put their KIDS first... but kids, ex wife, themselves - THEN the GF? No thanks.
And I can see her driving to his place dropping the kids off and (if it's a long drive) stay a night and then go home. And him doing the same. But for her to come stay and play house (even without the sex it still feels like playing house to me) I don't think I would be able to deal with that.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (9 August 2015):
 Nothing sexual is going on between them. This may be a good thing but also a bad thing because you, and that new boyfriend are what you are there for, since that's the common thing they are lacking in that tight knit group. I know economically it's impossible to be supporting the children, the ex wife and you too, but still it is unfair to use people sexually in the name of being in a relationship. I think it is too much trouble because you are putting effort in and not even getting what you deserve. The only way you would feel equal to him is if you were a single mom and also playing happy families with the baby daddy. Which would be a pretty messed up situation that I wouldn't want a part of.
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