A
female
age
41-50,
*ooomin
writes:I am a 27 year old woman and have been with my boyfriend for two years. We live together and we're engaged.When I was 19, I had my first serious relationship that lasted four years, I was completely devoted to him and the relationship, however he cheated on me several times.Since then, every relationship I've had I have not been 100% devoted to as much as I was back then.I love my current boyfriend with all my heart, and can't ever imagine leaving him, but just recently I started talking to a total stranger on Twitter, and those conversations got quite saucy. I now look forward to 'flirting' with him every day. What's wrong with me? I have a lovely man who does so much for me, loves me, I love him....but I still can't help myself. I don't know if it's the thrill or excitement of talking to this other guy, or feeling desired, I just don't know why I do it (I also cant help but flirt with other men on nights out)I always feel racked with guilt when I see my boyfriend afterwards, but this still doesn't stop me. What's wrong with me? Why cant I stop myself. Help :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): I was devoted in my previous relationships and they all ended with lies and cheating or some other messed up stuff from their side. I am married now and find myself controlling myself and suppressing my feelings and trying not to show too much of them cause i think he also might take me for granted. anyway, flirting when you go out is ok, as long as it's not sexy dancing and touching or kissing!! but every woman feels more confident when she sees guys looking at her and sometimes we give a look back just to provoke them to come over and then we say, sorry i have a boyfriend :) we just want to feel wanted cause it gives us confidence. Now internet thing, cut it off woman. It might end really sadly for you and you'll bang your head against the wall and ask yourself why did i need to do this? I had everything and now lost trust forever. If your man ever reads what you two write to each other, he won't believe it's just innocent flirting.
you have to ask yourself again, why do you need this. Try and do some interesting things with your guy, what are you lacking? Or maybe it's because you're getting more attention and love from him than you used to and it's abit much to you? so you're looking for something more mysterious and fun? only you know this deep inside you. And also the fact that you feel guilty about it, shows that you know what you're doing is bad, so don't do it, try to improve your relationship so you wouldn't have to do it!
Another thing that was a concern was how many times you said you really really love this guy you're with as if you were trying to convince yourself, cause you know he treats you right and is good to you and others weren't like that in the past.
Another thing to ask yourself is: would you be happy if he was talking in the same way with someone on the internet? would you be happy for him to flirt with girls when he goes out? If you wouldn't be happy this means you should stop, if you'd be ok with this maybe this is what your relationship should be like. Only if it works for both. Hiding something and feeling guilty is not a good sign.
A
female
reader, ariesortauras  +, writes (3 December 2010):
Hi,
dont worry, its just happens with everyone.. after all we rae humans!
sometimes we tends to fall for our instincts and go for few people just for a hang out, but back in our heart and mind we are very much clear about our actions.
There is no harm in flirting but make sure you dont hurt your boyfriend and keep sharing these things in a friendly manner. Also dont make the guys expect from you, you have to be sure about when to clear them about your are already hooked!
enjoy your time babes.
keep smiling ..enjoy life
...............................
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