A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:sorry for the lengthI like my job,i dont want to leave or transfer.Im a shift worker, I work in a hospital environment, my work place has 2/3 people under 30, 1/3 over 30 - 2 people in their 50s, which is fine. 2 people are male, the 3o yr old male is loved by all.My boss is 35,engaged with a kid. She is very cliquey with the younger girls, who are all cliuqey also, they will say hi and bye, and are not nasty, but are not inclusive at all.Most of them are good friends outside of work, thir business.My boss is super assertive and know it all, it is fine to be freindly but... she is in the clique and their is favoritism - regarding her talking to them, she will chat to "the clique" and just say hi to the rest of us that are not in the clique, (their are only a few of us, mostly over 30) she often doesnt ask how we are, or make social small talk. this is fine by me i say hi and am polite and do my work and go home, i try not to offend her and try to do my best work. she is an Ok boss but has favorites.i ask after her sometmes, (I dont see her as much as others as i work nights sometimes.) I make small talk with the clique,(so they cant say i dont talk,)i try to leave a positive vibe even though i am excluded socially.i have my own life and i dont wanna be their best buddies, and i dont need to be invited, i am not fishing for an invite!! they can do their thing, whatever.I just feel left out at times and need to overcome this.yes i have a few freinds!im a quieter person but i always say hi and try to make some effort - they make none at times, a few of them are loud drama queens..it still hurts sometimeswhen they all sit around and talk and laugh or talk about things they did socially, it would hurt anyone always being left out.its so cliquey, not nasty but very cliquey, i dont want to leave, and am not going to.i ignore the clique and do my job, i am happy to do this but it does get to me at times..i like my work,any survival tips on dealing with cliquey colleagues and a cliquey boss? again i like my job, just need some advice.please helpthanks in advance.
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (3 December 2010):
 I am so with you on this. I worked in a hospital environment for years and I know how the staff can be. I work in maternity now and was warned that it was a very bitchy clique. I am also the kind of person who would easily be left out, so I made a determined effort to retain a little mystery about myself and rise above any nastiness or bitchiness.
Work is work...somewhere you go to make money. Nursing has the advantage of being fulfilling and rewarding but it can be ruined by a nasty atmosphere that some staff seem to love to create.
The only way I survived was to be terribly terribly nice to everyone...not in their face, but always pleasant, always helpful and always cheery. I refused to get involved with any dramas as it was seen as taking sides. The bitchy ones will always be bitchy, you have to avoid them as much as possible, but eventually you will click with someone and life becomes more comfortable.
I now work on community and find it much better, the turnaround of staff is less and not being all together on a daily basis helps break up any tension.
Keep your chin up xx
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