A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 24 years old, and have never had a relationship (Romantic or Sexual). I am not unattractive, and I am relatively smart. I have a great work ethic and I believe I am an all around nice guy. I get along with people very well, and I am liked more than I am disliked. In fact I don't even think anyone I know dislikes me! Anyhow, How come I find it so hard to initiate a relationship? Also, I am not a very phisical guy, although I want to be. When do you know it is right to be physical with someone? I am kind of "friends" with a lovely lady right now, and I don't think i have even laid a hand on her whether it was a pat on the back or a high five. What is wrong with me!? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (10 February 2007):
 Just a hunch but I think it's one of two things. Either you're scared of rejection or you're giving off desperation signals. That's not meant in an offensive way but I think its got to the stage now where you're so ready to end this single run that your feelings are manifesting themselves in the wrong way. If you think what's bothering you more is the rejection aspect then don't. After all if a girl says no to dating you it's her loss and the embarassment only lasts a few seconds. Then there's always the chance of her saying yes and making your dreams come true. As for when it's right to make things physical you just know when you're in the right relationship. As far as your friend goes I think you should use her for practise. It seems to have got to the stage where you feel self conscious about touching women so just give her a hug when you say goodbye or touch her arm when she says something funny. I have a feeling things will change for you very soon.
CD
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (10 February 2007):
 There is nothing wrong with you and there is no "right" or "wrong" way to initiate a relationship. The lady you're friendly with must obviously like you too. Why don't you ask her out to the movies or for dinner or for coffee. Just drop it in casually and see what she says.
Once out on your date, just be yourself! Ask her more about herself, her likes, her dislikes, her hobbies. She'll answer you and ask you questions back and the conversation will flow automatically. The time will fly past and at the end of it tell her how much you enjoyed it and you'd like to do it again. Text her afterwards and thank her for her company and let her know you'd love to meet up with her again soon. Simple! Before you know it you'll be "dating."
After a few dates she'll probably be dying for you to kiss her (and you her) so at the end of the night then give her a kiss. You might even notice that she lays a hand on you, a brush of your face or your leg. It's all part of the courtship. Once you become more comfortable with her then it will happen naturally, just go with the flow and don't think about it too much and you'll be absolutely fine.
Eve
...............................
|
