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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I feel it offensive when a woman desires me. I am 25 yrs single guy and virgin. Why do i get scared of them stay away when they crave for me? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, maverick  +, writes (7 May 2007):
 That is unsusual behaviour for any guy. Even my gay friends are flattered when they realise they are have female admirers.
Your reaction may be due in part to something psychological. Although I am not qualified to comment in psychology I can point out some areas which maybe of interest.
Firstly, our behaviour is predominently made up from our lifes experiences up to this point in time. Having positive experenciences will reinforce positive behaviour - "Wow Ice Cream! It tastes great, and I used to have it with my family - I'll be happy to have some more". On the other hand Negative experiences will reinforce negative behaviour - "Urgh, swimming pool. Can't swim and I almost drowned when I was a kid so I don't think I will go near a pool party".
The experiences can manifest themselves in other indirect ways - the above examples are quite obvious. With your relationships now you may want to think back about all the other instances where people had show attention towards you. Something has developed this behaivour.
There is much here to consider and I would strongly recommend counselling - as this behaviour seems pretty extreme to me and will likely have a large detrimental effect on you in future unless resolved.
If you are in the UK you may benfit from speaking with Relate http://www.relate.org.uk/ I have a number of their books and found them very useful personally. Although they do work with couples mostly, they do help individuals.
Please look after yourself.
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