A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Having a problem trying to cut the ties and somehow remain friends if possible with ex partner/boyfriend.We were in a 5 1/2 year relationships, alot of good memories, we had our ups and down, primarily due to him not satisfied with one woman. we talked of marriage many times,when we first met he wanted to get married, but after awhile he said it would not be good idea to get married he did not want to cheat on me?? In our relationship we were extremly compatible in everyway, sex was always good for both. Sex was a daily event(once or twice a day). I did everything for him sexually even tried swinging with him. He always said he would love a harem. Of course with me in it. It became to be too much for me too handle, so I moved out.I have been trying to get my life together and have been dating somewhat regular and he has too, though he has not slept with anyone yet. The problem is we continued seeing each other quite regular when I moved out (3 to 4 times a week). He of course still wants to hang out and have sex with me while he tries to find another sex partner. I told him we need to see each other less so we can break the ties, we have cut down our visitation(1 or 2 a week). Its hard for me too to cut the ties completely we still enjoy each other and like the sex. But I this is not healthy. I get extremely jealous when I think of him starting another relationship its quite painful. Recently I told him we should not see each other for at least two months and meetup after that and see if we can be just good friends only. Well he was almost in tears and did not want to stop seeing me all together. He cares for me and Im his only friend?? I know Im a sucker, I feel like a rubberband, I just need to know the best way to do this.?? This has been going on for three months since I moved out...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2007): As you can see, remaining friends with an ex isn't a good idea and doesn't usually work - neither of you can really move on with your separate lives and one or the other is often hankering after resuming the relationship.
You need now to cut the ties completely. Go cold turkey. Remember the good times you once had, and the memories, but that's it. Its OVER, finished, done, past history.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 May 2007):
 You obviously need to distance yourself if you want to find any happiness. Sometimes it just doesn't work out being friends with an ex. The only way I can see for you to move on is to stop seeing him completely. I think you will be much happier in the long run.
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