A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've always been this way since I was little. I get very very uncomfortable when someone says my name or if I hear my name. I have a very unique name in the sense that I've never heard it or seen it before and I still haven't encountered it anywhere. I like it and people compliment me on my name and how it sounds. It's simple and different, and isn't too difficult at all to pronounce. It's just in relationships and friendships, ive always been more comfortable being called by a pet name. But it's gotten to the point where during sex I'll start to feel really weird and distant if my partner says my name out loud during an intimate moment. (Kind of as a reaction type thing) But I'm perfectly fine if it's the same situation but my pet name is used. I also start to feel weird about not using my partner'a pet name at times also. I'm not sure if this is a sign of lack of self confidence, or detachment. Maybe milddepersonalization? Has anyone encountered anything similar to this before? I've asked people close to me to give me a nickname because it's more comfy for me but sometimes especially during a serious conversation it can't be helped that my real name is used if someone is trying to talk to me or clarify something.
View related questions:
confidence Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (14 November 2016):
 I only feel uncomfortable when people try (and fail) to pronounce mine.... Which is why I have had the same nickname for almost 20 years.
My guess is when people use your name, the attention is ON you, not just because of the unique name but because they are obviously speaking to you. And I agree with BrownWolf. Parents usually use the WHOLE name - (and middle names) when a child is in trouble so maybe that is part of it too?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for such considerate answers, I'm starting to think it must've been my association of hearing my real name said very rarely except formally or when I was on trouble (i grew up with my parents calling me by a "pet name"). I also find the natural selection point very interesting especially since I'I taking a course in evolutionary psych right now ;P. My partner says he is trying to help make more positive associations with my name but 90% of the time he uses a nickname he made for me since it's what I prefer. Thank you for your answers again! I also find a tend to give people little nicknames as well when we have developed a close friendship
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 November 2016):
 Maybe you have a touch of " onomatophobia " ?
There is a whole lot of phobias that people have , some of which quite bizarre, because people can be afraid not only of dangerous or unplesant things, but also of things which are normaly considered nice or good : flowers, for instance ! so there is also a phobia of names, or actually of hearing some specific names, or your own name, pronounced or called out.
Like any phobia it's an irrational fear, probably linked to some wrong connection you made, or negative association of ideas you had, in your childhood , even early early childhood. Say, you heard your name called... and then righ after you got a spank ; or they called you, you turned and you saw something that scared you, stuff like that. Go figure . I think, rather than spending years on the shrink couch to find out exactly what episode triggered this adverse reaction to your name, ... you can just keep it simple and tell your partners that you 'd rather be called by your pet name during sex. Preferences are preferences, don't need always to be explained away - most of all in sex.
...............................
A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (14 November 2016):
I find that people who have this problem feel that way because, their full name means they are in trouble. Your parents would normally only use your full name when you did something wrong, but call you by your pet name otherwise.
For me, my full name seems too official. I only use it for official documents, interviews and so on. So when someone calls me by my full name, it seems out of place.
Then I have to remind myself...it is my name after all. :)
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2016): I am in a sense like that too and I would imagine we are all like that to some extend. I suppose that is a natural reaction of the mind to alert us and draw our attention to what information that is coming next.
...............................
|
