A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Im confused. I love my girlfriend more than she'll ever imagine. However when ever im alone, at home or at work my mind wonders and recently i've been having horrible day dreams about my girlfriend an one of her ex's. I bumped into him the other week (for the first time) and to my suprise he wasn't at all like my girlfriend had described in fact he was the opposite... tall good looking guy, great personality. The problem is i have no idea how they ended their relationship, She once told me about giving him head and i can't get the image from my mind now i've met the guy. He much better looking than me... what if he ended it? would she still yearn for the days when they where together? (only a question she can answer) Why do i feel this way? how can i stop thinking about this, its driving me crazy with worry. Also I wasn't sexualy active before i met my girlfriend and have no idea if giving someone head is something she would still be thinking about.sorry for all the questions im going crazy with worry. I shouldn't be thinking this way its not normal. please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007): I have a similar problem to this only I am on the receiving end. my boyfriend cannot accept my past, even though many years had past before i met him. it is a relief to read about people who have the same problems as us, as up until now i thought i was the only one going through it. talking does help although too many detail dont as in my experience he just expanded on them himself.
dont ask too many questions, only those that you really need to know.
the past is the past and your girlfriend would not be who she is today if she didnt make mistakes and learn from them.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007): I speak from experience and i have been there. I have let these thoughts nearly kill me in the past. The only way i could get over them was to speak to my bloke. Get him to talk about it all, tell me the answers to all my questions and then i really got eaten up with it all. We argued and i cried but the end result was good. My bloke's ex was like he described at all either. It is their way of getting over them i think or justifiying them to you. It does hurt like hell but we got through this and our relationship went from strength to strength. Hope this helps but i know just what you are going through. She is with you now so do try and get over this and make the most of what you both have, not what she had.
The next time an image comes into your head of her and her ex then try and picture something else, blot it out!
Take care and I'm sure in time and with practice you will get over this.
xx
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A
female
reader, lexie  +, writes (13 March 2007):
Well first of all have confadince in your self.. and second know thsi she would not be with you now if she did not love you...
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