A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys,Basically, I'm finding it hard to develop any deep underlying connections with any girls that I speak to. I'm beginning to think that I'm only ever attracted to ones that come with an insane amount of baggage and it's making me feel as though I'm never going to meet 'the one' so to speak and it's making me wonder if it's something wrong with how I analyse people and select them as a potential partner and wonder if anyone's ever felt the same.I've slept with roughly 23 girls out of those there's been 4 that I felt I wanted a relationship with:Girl 1: The girl I lost my virginity to. Feel completely head over heels for her after sleeping together and asked her out about 3 months into sleeping together. She said she only wanted something casual, ended up dating the next guy she met about a month after me. Took me a few months to get over, probably because she was my 'first love'.Girl 2: Turned out to be a total headfuck, I really wanted to get serious with her before it came out through various sources that she was very well known for sleeping around. Before I knew any of this I asked her out and she said no and that she didn't any a boyfriend. To this day still known to be a huge casual sleeper.Girl 3: We were friends for years before we slept together, things kind of fizzled out because I was training to join the army at the same time and was very busy which made the contact drop and by the time I was back home she was in another relationship.Girl 4: This was the toughest in a super messed up FWB kind of deal for almost two years. Asked her out and she declined. We stopped speaking and recontacted many times after this. She's also now getting a bit of a reputation for sleeping around which hurt me quite a lot as I had very deep feelings for her, but can say now they're mostly subsided even though he makes a lot of effort to still speak to me when she sees me (after she has blocked me on everything, so she says I can't contact HER), I have told her friend to ask her to kindly leave me alone.These are the only 4 girls I've ever wanted to date in my life and it always seems like it's the ones I can't have that pull me in. I've had plenty over the years and one very recently where she liked me a lot and I had to end things because I didn't feel like we were suitable for each other.Can anyone shed any light on this why I feel the need to contact these girls that have baggage? It's almost as if I'm attracted to the drama and the unpredictability of the situations which is absolutely the wrong reasons to be interested in someone and it's really starting to bug me as I feel like I'm never going to meet someone that I actually will be able to call my GF. I'm 25 years old and never had a GF at current.
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (28 August 2017):
 Never had a girlfriend but you have had sex with 23 women. Hate to say it but the fact girl number four's reputation for sleeping around a lot is hurting you nearly made me spill my cuppa. What do you call sleeping with 23 women when none of them were a girlfriend? In my book that's called sleeping around.
Maybe YOUR reputation of being somebody who sleeps around is a factor. What are you doing to make yourself look like boyfriend material? After all it took you three months after sleeping with girl one to decide to ask her out on a date .... why wait so long? And girl number two ...oh dear, she sleeps around. Well, so do you Buster! Onto girl number three, well you said yourself, but in different words, you were too busy to ask her to be your girlfriend and by the time you got home she was in (another) relationship. What had you expected? For her to sit around waiting for you to make up your mind to ask her out on a date or something, it sounds like you didn't give her any reason to believe there was anything between the two of you.
And girl number 4 .... good enough to screw as a FWB for two years but not good enough to be in a relationship with. Why was that?
I repeat, what are you doing to present yourself as boyfriend material because from what I've read here suggests that you are a person who has double standards and is self centred.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2017): YOU seem to let the girls reputation get to you for sleeping around while your a bit of a male slut, as you say yourself you slept with around 24 but had only feelings for 4 and because others talked about them and the fact that they were like you could not take it, I CALL those DUBBLE STANDARDSYou posted about girls that have baggage the same baggage as you have and your biggest problem is you lessen to jealous people that bad mouth the girls you are with, There are so many DUBBLE STANDARDS around today people want girls to have sex on a first date and they want to wed a virgin. guys say there is GF material and there is wife material. THESE GUYS don't look in the mirror at all and see their own warts at all.MY ADVICE to you is if you want a girl to forget to ask about her past your past is not so clean, and don't listen to what others say, stop being one of the lads, they only seem to kiss and tell.go for the type girl you want and can be happy with and then give her your all and not hold back like you have been doing in the past putting gossip from mates before your woman.
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