A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:One of my very best friends got engaged last night, don't get me wrong when I ask this question I am sooo happy for her. But I'm insanely, ridiculously, incredibly jealous. I'm not sure why, I know that my boyfriend and I are not ready to get married, especially not this young and when we have families to please, and things to take care of like getting out of college first. I love her, but all I've heard all day is about this fabulous event taking place in her life, and it has upset me almost to the point of tears, and I don't know why. I love my boyfriend very much and I do want to marry him so badly, but that doesn't mean I expect him to run out and buy me an engagement ring next week. I just don't understand why it upset me so much that she got engaged after such a short relationship (1 year and some odd months) and all my boyfriend and I ever do is jokingly say "when we get married..." and we've been together as long as we have. I don't want anyone to think I'm foolish or naive. I just need someone to try and explain why I'm feeling so envious towards my friend and her boyfriend...fiance what ever :/ I think they're cute together, but in some ways I feel she could do so much better. Does anyone know why I'm feeling this way, or can anyone try to explain my random anger for one of the happiest days in my friends life??
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female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (5 June 2012):
 Alright, so then it goes back to what I said about you knowing, in your head, that you're not ready for marriage, but your heart says otherwise.
Talk to your boyfriend, and make sure that the two of you are indeed on the same page about having a future together. Other then that, I'm not sure what else you can do. Jealousy is a nasty little bugger that destroys relationships, so be careful
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have felt envious towards her in another situation but it was only my subconscious fear of losing my boyfriend to her because they worked together before for a short period of time and i had a few nightmares surrounding her feelings for him even though i know she doesn't have any and I know that I for absolute sure have NO feelings whatsoever towards her fiance besides irritation and anger. he pisses me, he's rude and controlling and influential and i haven't ever really liked him, but she's happy with him so I can't really tell her that. i guess I feel that i should have been first because I am truly happy and compatible with my boyfriend where she and her fiance are sort of still in that "new relationship" phase this is her first serious relationship and I worry for her I suppose.
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A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (4 June 2012):
Even though your head is saying you're not ready for marriage, your heart is screening to the contrary. That is an issue you're going to have to resolve within yourself.
You do seam to have a lot of anger surrounding your best friend's happiness, so I am curious, have you ever felt envious of her in any other situations? Is there any possibility that you have some attraction to her fiancée, even if only subconsciously?
you know, when you exhibit the kind of jealousy and anger that you have, it's good to explore all the reasons that could be, but in truth, only you have the real answer.
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