A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, before anyone jumps in and bash me for being immature and naive and stupid, I do hope you can understand that I only came here and ask for your help because I'm desperate and don't know where to go to so please try to be understanding.Here's my problem. I'm 20 this year. Last month, I met a guy on Chatroulette whom I've been in contact with via Skype. We talk and mess around online, mutual masturbation and that sort. Initially, I thought it was all just for fun and I wouldn't seek for anything more but the more I correspond with him, I began to develop some feelings for him. Not really strong feelings but I know I like him a bit more than just friends.I never asked him much about his relationships because I didn't want to be too nosy. But yesterday, I asked him in a subtle manner if he has a girlfriend and he said no but asked if I would like to see him have sex with his girlfriend if he were to get one. I wasn't entirely shocked because I know we were never exclusive or anything and that we're only doing this for fun but I can't help but feel really hurt even if I know it's not possible for us to be more than just friends. We're living on completely different continents and we've only known each other for a short while. I thought I've always been a strong person this entire time but I just don't know why this time, I felt so depressed after he said that. I'm trying to face reality and tell myself a relationship with him is not possible and that it is not of my concern if he gets a girlfriend but why am I still so hurt and jealous?! Please help me get over liking him as more than just friends with benefits :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (30 January 2013):
It seems that you developed an emotional attachment to this man, but for him it continued to be a bit of fun. That’s why you’re hurt and why you need to end all contact with him. Take a step back and you’ll see this for what it really is, something best confined to the past.
I wish you all the very best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2013): The only way you'll get over him is to cut off all contact with him. Seriously you do know that's the only way right? You don't get over having feelings for someone by continuing to feed your desires both emotional and sexual with them even if it is just an online FWB deal.
No relationship is possible so why bother hurting yourself that way?
The only person who can help you get over him is you and the only way you can do that is by cutting him out of your life, simple as that.
OP for the future if you're going to keep doing this understand videos of you doing it will probably end up online, just be sure you're prepared for what that may actually mean for your life.
Also consider whether FWB things are something you can handle. You fell for this guy pretty quick OP and you didn't even have to be with him in person for that to happen so maybe FWB's is not your thing and you should stick to dating and relationships.
If you're going to continue to do the online FWB thing, then it's too far gone into hurt and pain to continue with this guy, so you should move on. And the next time as soon as you start to feel you like the guy, cut him off and move on or you'll just end up in this situation again. But remember OP, the more you do this, the greater the risk of it being uploaded online. Girls masturbating on skype is one of the most common video types on porn sites now.
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