A
female
age
26-29,
*ouBrokeMyHeart
writes:I am 14 year's old and I feel insain. I know what i've done is wrong and grosse. I am in love with an older man and things have happened to me in my past that make me this way. He doesnt live here and I probably should'nt trust him...I really want a baby... I know I am not physically or emotionally ready to handle this... He does too. Or so he's saying. He has 2 children he hasnt seen in 6 years.. and that was from a previous marrige...I am so confused right now... and I really need help on what to do. We plan on meeting this summer but i know I am risking my life. I want him so bad and have been talking to him for about 6 months now.I don't know if my want is real and if he is just using me for sex. He's said some things the other day that made me second guess wanting him at all.Please help me out.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2010): I can't believe them other people that answered you said, "Talk to a grown-up". Yo, that's good advice, but what you and me know is that you ain't gonna do that, are you? That's why you here. You ain't gots anyone else you trust to ask bout this. Well, I'm a dude, and I'm probably about as old as the guy you like, and I'm gonna tell you straight, aight? br br
Yo, they right. You needs to talk to someone offline about the way you feel, shorty. Now I'm not goin all afterschool special on you bout this. I'm just sayin, you know, it ain't even got to be an adult. But you got to hear what your friends think of this, girl. I know you're talkin to old boy cause he listens and he cares and you like that, but your friends can listen and care too. br br
And a baby? Well, they don't listen AND they don't care neither. They just want want want. They ain't gonna listen to nothin. They just gonna screw up your game when you wanna go to prom and you can't cause you baby's cryin and you can't get no sitter cause they all at prom. Besides, what you gonna pay a sitter with? You ain't got no job. And you wantin to go date some guy who likes you but you can't cause he find out you got a kid and he's done with you. Yo, babys are some hella big turnoff for single guys. I know that's the truth. br br
Serious girl, just leave off the baby til you can take care of that the right way. You don't want a baby to grow up the way you did. You want something better for your kids. I know that's right. br br
And about this guy on the internets. He ain't gonna be nothing like what you imagine. Whatever picture you got in your head about him, forget it. That's not who he is, that's who you wish he was. He ain't gonna be nothin like that so don't waste your time. br br
And I don't care what you think about yourself or what you look like, I promise you that if you just talk to guys at school, just like a friend, and you keep doing it to all the guys you can, then one of them is gonna ask you to be with him. True.
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (28 May 2010):
 Listen to C. Grant.
Really.
Please don't do something you will surely regret.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (28 May 2010):
 YIKES! You are in danger, girl! There is no reason an older man should have anything to do with you unless it's to use you for sex. You ARE loveable and don't need to have sex or have a baby to be loved! Don't fall for that trap, or there will only be more emptiness and loneliness at the end.
C. Grant is right! IMMEDIATELY talk to a trusted grownup in your life (parents, relatives, teachers, school counselor). The feelings you have for this older man are a result of something deeper that's happened in your life that needs to be addressed. PLEASE don't have sex with this man and cut off contact with him, or you will screw up your life big time.
For an older man to have sex with you is RAPE. You are risking your life, and this man does NOT and can never love you. Don't do it! Please! You WILL be loved in your life and don't need this!
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (28 May 2010):
 Kiddo, please speak to your parents about what's going on. Please! Your subconscious is telling you that something isn't right -- listen to that! It doesn't matter what you might have done before this. What matters is that you know, now, that you're in a bad situation. Girl, talk to someone! If not your parents, then an aunt, an uncle, a brother, sister, someone! This guy is bad news, you know it. Get help!
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