A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My partner does the list of things below and will not break the habit despite many 'talks' (one sided discussions that end in me crying and him rolling over). Yet he still plans romantic and wonderful trips for us and gets me lavish presents. And hasn't left.Why does he never say sorry after an argument or after saying something he KNOWS is hurtful.Why does he tell me flat to my face after a session of love-making that I think was good that it was "ok".Why doesn't he go down on me? Why does he tell me he doesn't need sex?Why do I NEVER get a compliment. And yet he still parades me around his co-workers like I'm his little whore (I mean according to him he doesn't want or NEED to have sex with me - and yes he tells this to my face when I ask him why he isn't attracted to me).Sorry for going on so much. But why doesnt my boyfriend WANT ME, and why do I feel like I am just not needed as a woman but am an accessory that cooks and cleans.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009): I'm sorry, but he sounds like a major uh jerk. =/
I find it incredibly annoying when I'm all upset over something and my boyfriend is more concerned with catching some ZZZ's, rolling over (like you said), and telling me to shut up. I know I am very annoying, but damn, at least fake interest.
I wonder why he doesn't go down on you. Have you brought it up with him? Like, have you told him that you would like it ad he has said, "no" to you, or do you keep it to yourself? Maybe he feels inadequate, like he isn't very good at it?
I also wonder why he doesn't need sex? Is this why you think he is not attracted to you? Why does he parade you though if he does not find you attractive?
Guys seem to think that women don't need sexual satisfaction. Maybe all that porn they watched has made them focus entirely on their own pleasure. They could care less about pleasing the woman. I don't know, I am confused about this myself.
A
male
reader, Griffo +, writes (10 January 2009):
 Its either one of two things. 1) he's doing it without intention. 2) he's playing games (with intention).
If he's doing it unintentionally he sounds like a really inexperienced boyfriend to have, most guys would take the time to compliment his lady in particular during sex and love-making.
If he's playing games then I think you know what to do. Though bare in mind some guys do this, in particular your circumstance, because they are insecure about something. By the sounds of things, It could be a sexual thing he may not be ready or actually like oral sex (going down on you). Another thing if he's parading (bragging) about you to his coworkers then you need to confront him abut this and tell him you don't like it. have you done this?
Are you guys living with each other?
Please reply with your response and feedback.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009): Hmm I think its more like the guys don't ever know what they want...
It seems like he's the type that wants everything to evolve around him. If he makes you feel like your not needed around him then I think you shouldn't make him that important and just focus on yourself and see what he'll do. I mean sometimes we girls help them to do those things so they would appreciate us. If a guy really likes or loves you they should respect you, if he doesn't have the respect then he doesn't deserve you.
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A
female
reader, Angeljc1  +, writes (10 January 2009):
because some boyfriends are jerks. after reading your comment, im starting to wonder if i want my ex back. it sounds like my relationship that i just got out of. i drove him around, i cooked, cleaned, brought him food, comforted him when he was upset, was the only one who got him a xmas gift. he calls me a lil whore, a slut...all women have something up their sleeve. he never went down on me and said hed only go down if i lost 30 lbs. he doesnt want any guys to hit on me. what do they want?
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