A
female
age
36-40,
*uchi_i
writes:I broke up on trust issues.he is pleading to not go.I know I am doing it for good and If i stay I will fall again in the circles of accusations and justifications.Being a LDR it just not helps.My question is why I am the one who feel guilty?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2013): You're welcome.
But there's nothing for you to feel guilty about if I'm being honest. If HE'S done/is doing something wrong, its HIS own fault he's pushed you away, he's made the relationship so that you can't trust him. Its not your wrong doing its his. I very much doubt he would be with you if he felt he couldn't trust you, so why should you take it all in stride...you shouldn't and you don't have to.
And thanks :)
A
female
reader, Ruchi_i +, writes (10 January 2013):
Ruchi_i is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou Karlos.I was making it so complicated like if I have a low self esteem and can't keep to my words..You just made it so simple.God bless you.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (10 January 2013):
 Not sure what the in's and outs of what happened here, what i do know is that a relationship will have a hard time staying together if the trust has gone, trust is one of the most important ingredients that hold a relationship together. You feel guilty because he is begging you not to go, its making you feel bad. You said yourself that if you stay you will fall back in the circles of accusations and justifications, so cut all ties with him and move on with your life.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2013): Typically people that create trust issues also love to play what I call the blame game. They blame you for what they did wrong or that you are causing them to do this because you aren't idk keeping the house clean enough- just an example. They cant take responsibility for their actions. Don't feel guilty, its not your fault, they are just good at making you feel like it is. Cheating or sneaking around sexually with women is never ever ok in a relationship be it via text, computer, in person what have you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2013): I don't even know the half of what's happened here so my advice will be limited.
All I can guess is that you love him and you feel guilty because he's pretty much begging you not to break up with him. Seeing him hurt clearly hurts you.
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A
female
reader, Warm-Inspire +, writes (10 January 2013):
 I find that if you're quite a selfless person by nature you will find yourself feeling guilty if you have hurt someone's feelings for your own well-being/benefit.The pleading probably isn't making it any better either, it just cause's you to pity them and you feel guilty for not acting on it.Sometimes you HAVE to put your own feelings and happiness first and conclude what's best for you.Trust issues cause ALOT of problems and heartache on both parts, so just remember you're doing him a favour in the long run too.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (10 January 2013):
 Hon, it is because HE makes you feel like all the problems are your fault and by doing that, it makes him feel better and justifies his actions.
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