A
female
age
30-35,
*rincessRiches
writes:Hi everyone. I've been faced with a problem that I am unsure how to react to.The girl who was my best friend kept putting me down, for no reason. She called me spoiled, she kept telling me she was bored of my hair being blonde (we're hairdressers!) and that I needed to let her dye it dark, she told me my hair needs cut short and I don't suit it long, she's even told me to gain weight!! When I pointed out that these were not her decisions to make, she apologised, but insisted she was just trying to give me advice. I am very in to tattoos, and recently got a "barbie" one done as barbie is my alter ego, and she told everyone in our class that it looks terrible. Despite her comments, I have tried to be a good friend. I've babysat her children any time she needed, I've gave her lifts in my car whenever she wanted, and I've done her loads of favours to help her out. Last week, I went to a party with my other friend, and she took a jealous rage and sent me a very long ranty text message saying she felt like she didn't matter to me since I became friendly with my other friend, which I don't get because I had been up to see her the night before! I didn't reply, because I didn't want to say something cheeky that I'd later regret. I'd really, really appreciate advice on what to reply to her, because I don't wana lose her as a friend, but I want her to know that while she's entitled to her opinions she can't keep putting me down, and that she needs to let me have other friends. thanks for taking the time to read this, and I'd greatly appreciate advice:) xxxx
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female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (5 August 2014):
 Why do you not want to lose her as a friend if she is being so nasty to you? There is a point where a friend can give you some advice, for example a friend of mine recently dyed her hair blonde asked me how it looked and I simply said I didn't think it suited her. She agreed with me and dyed it a different colour the next day. Thats okay. It is NOT okay when she is degrading you, making you feel bad because of your physical appearance, telling you your hair is wrong, this is wrong, everything is wrong! Its not her place to say, in fact it is no one's place to say unless YOU ask them. However you answered your own question. Its obvious why she is being like this. She is jealous of you, I of course can't say why but maybe you might know why she may be jealous? Are you doing better on your hairdressing course than her? Do you get more attention than her? Are you more popular than her? All of these suggestions can be valid reasons why she might be being so hostile, she might say she is trying to "help" you but all of this is an attack of your character, and she is trying to cover it up so she doesn't seem like a bitch. You should tell her in your text, that you can do what you like, you can hang out with who you like and you can also look, dress, act, eat, talk, learn and all the bits in-between how YOU like. Sometimes you have to stand up to people like her, to show them that you aren't going to let them dictate to you what you should and shouldn't do. If you don't want to lose her as a friend, then you should still get this across to her, but try and do it in a subtle and nicer way so it doesn't seem like you are being so stern. However I stand by what I say, when I say, do not let her have power over you, and do not let her talk to you like dirt. The next time she picks out soemthing she doesn't like about you, do the same to her, if she says your hair is too long say her hair is to short, next time she tells you to put on weight tell her she needs to lose it. Sometimes you have to put on a brave face when people want to criticise, good luck x
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