A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 9 years recently he said that his confused and don't know if he still wants to be with me. He said there are days that he missed me and wants to be with me and there are days that he can't even stand to see me. We had a son together. About a couple of weeks ago I found him in the couch sleeping holding his cellphone so I did what I normally do and took the cell(i was going to charge it so he can bring it the next morning) woke him up and told him to move in the room to sleep so I went upstairs put the cell to recharge and when I open the cell found texts to a girl and he also send pics of himself naked. I ask him about it and he swear for my son that there is nothing going on and he wants me to believe that he send the wrong pics. So I told him that I will forgive him for the sake of our son but he should understand that I wont fully trust him like I did. And then acouple of days ago he came to me and said that he can't take it me mistrusting him and he doean't feel the same way as before. That his really confused on what he wants and that all he know is he wants to be happy. So told him if he wants to move out he can go and I won't stop him. And yesterday he came to talk to me and said that his miserable in his dad's house and asking me to move out of our house so he can rent it and we can split the money. That I should feel bad for him cause his really broke and needs the money. I don't know what to do? I don't unstand why I feel bad for him? I'm really desperate for advice please hepl me......
View related questions:
money, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (3 June 2011):
 Hello, Your first and foremost priority in your life is your son. Having a roof over his head, having food for him and a good quality of life. His dad...to be blunt is the least of your worries.Every human being is responsible for themselves once they are old enough to have their own kids and move out of their parents' house. Every human being. Your boyfriend has been less than honest with you, chances are he is not being faithful. This puts you in a unfortunately high risk position if he is sleeping around? Really sit and ask yourself if you really really believe the crap story about the wrong pictures? What does your gut tell you about that?You have rightfully sent him on his way so his son can have a peaceful warm and loving home to live in....now he does not want to stay with his Dad..and wants you to rent out the apartment so he and you can make money?? Are you in dire straights financially....cause it does not seem that way.My darling....you or your son, should NOT feel bad for your boyfriend....I am sorry, it is not your fault or your problem if the decisions that he has made in his life have impacted negatively on him. He is a grown man. Please do not let him put you on a guilt trip...this is his problem. Your MAIN concern should be how he is contributing to your son....not how will he make money. You feel bad because you shared your life with him and you guys share a beautiful boy...that is why you feel bad. But sometimes, we women need to take stand and stand firm that our children and ourselves come first and to stop saving the men that fail us.Don't take him back, don't remove your son and yourself from a perfectly comfortable home....don't do any of that..you are not Superwoman and you are not anyone's hero....he needs a hero...tell him put out a Batman signal or something. He is a grown man!
A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (3 June 2011):
 He's a liar, he's cheating, he wants to use you for money, he's a loser. Nine years?
Get an attorney, go through the divorce process as if you have been living together for 7 years you are common law spouses, and they can advise you how to proceed in your state. File for custody and child support.
I am sorry, but this is way over and if you file first you will have the upper hand in the situation.
Don't feel sorry for him, he doesn't deserve it, he's manipulating you and conning you and lying to you, what more do you need to get the hell out and take your son with you??
...............................
|
