A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 16 and I've been with my boyfriend (23) for 7 months and in the past 2 weeks I've cheated on him 3 times with 2 different people. Once was just kissing, 2nd time was kissing and "touching" and the 3rd time I had sex with someone else... I don't WANT to cheat, but I end up cheating anyway :( I enjoy the cheating at the time but afterwards I feel dirty.Why do I do it?!
View related questions:
kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (30 August 2010):
 Maybe you just enjoy sex too much to ration yourself out to only one person?
I suggest avoiding a supposedly exclusive relationship until you are sure you're ready for it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2010): May be compulsive behavior. Seek a therapist. And please do not date anyone until your problem is solved.
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (29 August 2010):
 I am surprised that your parents let you date a 23 year old. I suspect he was the person that introduced you to sex at quite a young age. You are young to be this sexually active; but I suspect that you're view on relationships is skewed a bit differently now that you are no longer a virgin.
Not all relationships need to include sex! It should be something that is given away with discretion - considering that you are taking the chance of making them your 'baby daddy' every time you have sex with a new partner, that's just a fact! After all, no contraception is 100% effective.
So, if you were to judge each relationship by whether or not this could be the father of your future children - would you still think they were worthy of that privilege?
You are a very young girl, you need to re-evaluate going out with a guy that is too old for you. You should reconsider dating only one guy and having a boyfriend right now because you haven't made up your mind about being in a one-on-one relationship if you are cheating all the time. It's normal at your age to want to "try on" a lot of different relationships and figure out who you are and what kind of relationship you want to be in with a guy; just take things a LOT slower and remember that sex doesn't have to be included in every single relationship!
That twinge of guilt and feeling dirty are signs of regret coming from YOU and your decision making abilities; and YOU are the one who says YES or NO. Learn to use these words and make decisions for yourself that you don't regret! There are certain things that you can't take back or undo, but you can avoid that in the future and not have to worry about having a child with a guy that you don't have anything in common with or know very well... which is a distinct possibility every time you have sex.
...............................
A
male
reader, multitalented  +, writes (29 August 2010):
Firstly decide why you are doing it ? does it sexually turn you on to cheat on him ? Are you in some way incompatible ? Do you mistreat him in other ways ? There could be many questions, but you should try to answer them all. Caution is always the best advice. Respect for others is also highly recommended. You never know under the right cicumstances it could be something that your B/F finds stimulating......Talk
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2010): He could be cheating on me. I have no idea.
...............................
A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (29 August 2010):
 You like to try different sorts of guys, that's why. It's not necessary a bad thing, but if you do it, make sure you're using protection and be discreet. You don't want to be known as the "universal girl".
Anyway, at your age, I think you should be more concerned about other stuff, such as school and studies, not wander off.
You should be honest with your boyfriend, before he finds out that you've cheated on him and dump you. Just tell him you don't share the same feelings.
Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (29 August 2010):
 There is a very simple answer. Dont do it.
Cheating only happens because you let it. Have a bit more self respect and respect for your boyfriend, because at the moment, you have neither.
If it happens because you are drunk, dont drink.
Self restraint.
No one forces you to cheat, or makes you, or gives you an ultimatum. It is all up to you. Self restraint.
If you care about your boyfriend, you wouldnt cheat. Its simple. There is no excuse.
If you are only 16, I somehow think you may not be ready for a serious committed relationship. If you just want to mess about and have fun and casual sex then do the decent thing and break up with him. Be single, then you can sleep with as many guys as you want, altho you still may feel dirty.
At the moment you are just being very selfish, and possibly putting your boyfriend at risk from STI's and STD's, even if you are practising safe sex. It isnt fair.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2010): Your just enjoying being young and having the power to seduce guys you fancy :-)
Certainly you need to avoid an exclusive relationship with one guy at this moment as you are ejoying playing the field?
Make sure you are on the Pill.
...............................
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (29 August 2010):
 either stop cheating or tell your partner either way if you continue you will feel worse do it sooner than later. also i hope you were using protection or you could pass stds on to your partner and hell find out anyway
...............................
|
