A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What do you do with a guy who seems to have a past? I mean it doesn't barther me as much as it use to, but I'm curious. But I don't want to ask and hear something I wouldn't want to hear. He's had A LOT of sex. He doesn't even know the number. Eventually I got over it so I said ok, whatever. He was in a gang! He told me he was crip. Now don't you have to do a number of dangerous things to get into that gang? I'm not really sure what, but I've heard some things. He smokes weed, mm..I could care less about that but he does it on a regular. One day we spoke, and we were talking about our thoughts. He didn't want to tell me what was on his mind because he told me if he did it then I would know. He has some dangerous thoughts sometimes. He also told me that he doesn't want me thinking of him in another way. I said fine- just be safe. I'm not exactly sure what it is but his safety means everything to me. I don't want to loose my first love. And lastly but not least- his past relationships. They've all seemed like they were disfunctional. His partner cheated, so in return he'd cheat, and then she would cheat and etc. When we met he was finishing H.S. He didn't really go to school, but somehow he graduated? Anywho as an adult his progress has improved. Fo some reason I think I had a reason of that happening. I wasn't the type to tell him what his reponsibilites were and all. But he eventually got the hang of it. I'm happy that I met him through his change, and not before during his childish years. So, do I seem stupid for staying around? I know we have our ups and downs, but is he really worth it?
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female
reader, Nataliemarie +, writes (30 July 2010):
Seems like you have the seed of doubt already planted. The best advice is to follow your gut instinct. What are your expectations, anyhow? Do you want to date a guy who has a violent past and multiple failed relationships? Seems like u want to save him? I once tried to be the savior in a past relationship with a guy who was going down the wrong path and nothing positive came out of it for me. he has changed now and wants to be with me- but he is immature and I have moved on. I guess it takes time to realize these things - but good luck .
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010): if you truly love him, his past should not affect your relationship. sometimes people make mistakes or have cheated in past relationships, but none of that should matter. remember: true love is rare, so when you find that special someone, treasure them and look beyond all of there falts.
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