A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I am engaged to a wonderful man. We did the long distance thing for a year and a half, and I we have been living with eachother for over 3 months. Its wonderful, but in certain instances, I get upset with him and make it so hard for him to talk to me. He is more like a woman in a sense with his communication skills, he never yells, and is very rational. We are together everyday, and one of his friends is coming over today without his g-friend so I said "great you two be together, I will do my own thing" when really i just wanted him to say he wanted to be with me, which he did. But i think i get so insecure or something at times because I really just have him here, and at my home i had a huge social network, and here he has his friends and i have no one except him. I am so used to being in control of the relationship and I find myself more dependent on him. And he is incredibly good looking and I find myself wondering if he is every interested in others and flirting with others, and I have never been this way. It really bothers me, and instead of totally admitting all this stuff, I get moody and very difficult to deal with. I say things to him that are hurtful and uncalled for, and I do apologize later, but he doesn't deserve this, and I can't figure out how to stop. Please help!
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engaged, flirt, insecure, long distance Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): good question - if we can solve this the world will thank us.
I think you have to think how you want to behave...and then start behaving that way... so when something starts to annoy you - deep breath and smile. Think of it from someone else;s perspective....
I think you are a victim of your parents excessess - notching marriages so that it means less. you dont have to follow in there shoes... take your time and find the right one (you have) take time to know them and then think of marriage....
Star.x.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to you both for your responses. Yes, I moved here to be with him. I have 8 brothers & Sisters, 9 nieces and nephews and he is an only child. So I did leave all of them, however, the plan is to move back there in a couple of years, and i am working out of his house, and he needs these couple of years experience at his engineering job. So I guess, me being home all day, and waiting for him to come home is just a change for me. I have told him this and we have talked about it, and I say i will work on it, and then i go back to being like that if something rubs me the wrong way.
Honestly, not that this should matter, but my Dad is on his 5th marriage an my mom has been married 4 times. I thin i am just a little scared. And my fiance was married once for a year, so I think all these factors, and me just up and moving for him scares me. But overall, I really am completely happy and I know he is, its just when i get in these moods, I dont' really like myself for it. I throw the fact that he married someone that was wrong in his face, and stuff like that. I know its not right. So another question for you guys, instead of being a moody brat, what should I do, when something bothers me, go for a walk???
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): i am guessing you moved to be with him?
i think you have settled into his life - and comprimised your own... so...have a chat with him and say look you are finding it difficult etc.
i think you need to relax and trust him. you survived an LDR that gives you lots of Love credits - you have no reason to be insecure... be happy he has chosen you...
but really a chat is good start rather than letting it grow....
Star.x.
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A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (21 May 2009):
 the awesome women hormones. i get this way to when my husbands friends come over. i get so made because i never see him b/c he works so much and like you i just want to be w/him, it frustrating, just remember hes with you for a reason. maybe you two should go out and meet couples to hang out w/ so you have somone to talk to when his man time happens lol. having him knowing the area and being eachothers wingmen you two will be sure to make new friends, which you guys need people that both of you can hang out with.
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